


Royal Screw-Up

by LeavenGreenleaf



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: 100 Year War (Avatar TV), Airbending & Airbenders, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Bisexual Disaster Sokka (Avatar), Fire Nation Royal Family, Firebending & Firebenders, Gay Panic, Gay Zuko (Avatar), M/M, Non-Canon Relationship, Other, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29853072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeavenGreenleaf/pseuds/LeavenGreenleaf
Summary: (Sokka x Zuko Slowburn, Azula x Original Character Slowburn)Kazen was tired of letting their father control their life.Prince Zuko was banished for speaking his mind.Two firebenders burned by the Nation they loved; two teenagers hurt by a lie.After Kazen makes a fatal mistake that sends them over a cliff and into the sea, they wake up in the arms of a lion turtle, who has inexplicably saved them, and even stranger, has given them the ability to airbend. Kazen doesn't understand the purpose of it all until they run into a certain Fire Nation Prince and the air nomad Avatar he seeks. As Kazen gets to know both parties, their purpose becomes clear: they must bridge the gap between the Fire Nation and the Air Nation. But how does one even begin mending a 100 year old wound?By starting with royalty, of course—and a certain Water Tribe warrior that holds the key to his heart.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Azula (Avatar)/Original Character, Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Kudos: 9





	1. Say It To My Face

**Author's Note:**

> This novel's third-person limited perspectives switch between Kazen and Zuko.
> 
> Kazen uses they/them pronouns.
> 
> Enjoy the angst, fluff, and words of wisdom over tea!

_A lady is still. Poised. Graceful._

_No firebending. No crying. No singing._

_Stop running about the house. Get down from that tree. Quit acting like a warrior and start acting like a lady._

_And above all, stay silent._

These were the mantras planted in Kazen's head since they were old enough to listen. They followed them well enough; their father had fire-whipped them into line by the time they reached adolescence. As the Captain in the great Fire Nation Army, Kazen's father had always been bitter.

He'd wanted a son.

Instead, he got a daughter.

How ironic, then, that his daughter turned out to be a thoroughbred tomboy. How hilarious, that they were a firebending master's brightest student. How completely and utterly laughable, that his daughter turned out to be not a girl at all, but nonbinary.

Kazen was exactly what their father wanted. But they were nothing to him, all because they'd been born a girl.

Kazen wasn't bitter about it. For the longest time, they were alright with their father's anger. It taught them duty, discipline, resilience, and perseverance. They crafted their shield from his words and used his own mantras against him. Then, they saw the way he treated their mother. They noticed the way he talked to his recruits. They witnessed the violence against homosexuals, and they heard the filthy curses toward transgenders.

And then, at long last, they discovered their identity.

And their world caved in.

Kazen feared for their life around every turn. They left home for longer stints, not regretting the punishments afterward. They took to their training more than ever before. Their dysphoria taunted them every time they looked in the mirror. Fear became frustration, and frustration became suppressed rage. Their body deceived them. They fought to have a shred of dignity when changing before their handmaidens. But the devil sat on their shoulder, and whispered in their ear, until they discovered an underground surgeon, and gave in, and covered up the damage with increasing panic.

At least those were the first scars they were proud of.

They were sixteen then. They're nearly seventeen now. News of the Avatar has reached them from the North. He defeated General Zhou, and he's somewhere in the Earth Kingdom, most likely searching for an earthbending teacher. Whenever Kazen heard their father sigh in defeat, or shove his desk across the room, or set the latest report ablaze, a small grin of victory pierced their glued-on expression. Even when they repainted their gracious smile in his presence, a ray of hope remained, piercing through the storm clouds hanging in their mind. The storm was building. The sea was calling their name. Soon, the Avatar would deliver the Fire Nation from their treacherous War, and they would have a chance at living the life they wanted.

That dream came crashing down on their seventeenth birthday.

Kazen's father returned from boot camp rather early. He had a skip in his step, which was unusual for the downcast, moody man. He ordered the cooks to prepare a great feast, then went into the bathing room for a steamy bath. Kazen exchanged a frightened glance with their mother. They knew better than anyone that Kranen's good mood could only result from some horrific tragedy. Kazen quickly escaped to their room before they could show their terror in their expression. They buried themself in a firebending scroll, one of many they'd collected over the years from Master Hui Jaong. They had a few sword fighting techniques written down from Master Piandao as well, but those were far and few between. Paindao had a more active teaching style, after all.

There was a small knock on Kazen's door. "Miss Kazen, your presence is requested at the dinner table.

Kazen scrambled to hide their precious scrolls. "I'll be there momentarily, Wong."

They hurriedly changed into their finer clothing, then plastered on a polite smile. Kazen arrived at in the kitchen momentarily. The servants rushed to finish setting out the steaming-hot platters. Kazen's heart sank to see the white knuckles and sweaty hairlines of the cooks. Their father was renowned for his cruel treatment of his servants. Throughout their large estate, they worked tirelessly day and night, cooking the food, tidying up spaces, tending to the garden, and running messages to and from the town. Kranen had a habit of beating and firing servants over trivial things, such as writing a letter too sloppily, preparing the food just a tad too hot, or even pouring him a glass of wine that wasn't the right brand. He didn't even feed the servants properly. Only Kazen's good heart and discreet giving away of the leftovers kept them fed and happy.

"I have good news," Kranen suddenly said. "General Rekai's son has come of age, and he is looking for a wife. He has offered his hand in your marriage, Kazen, and I have accepted."

Kazen dropped their fork. It clattered to the floor. Despite their long years of mannerism condition, they couldn't keep themself from blurting out, "Excuse me?"

"That's right! You're getting married! Next week, in fact," Kranen hummed. "I'll be promoted to General that same day. Isn't that great?"

_You didn't ask me. You're treating me like a pawn. You married me off just to get a promotion!_

All these thoughts went through Kazen's head, but they simply smiled and said, "That's wonderful, father."

"I knew you'd be excited."

Kranen continued to talk about something with his troops, but Kazen filtered it out. They felt their mother's eyes boring into the side of their head. Their head which was spinning out of control. Kazen...was getting married? Their life was over, just like that? They didn't want a married life. They didn't want to pretend to be a happy little perfect wife. After all, they knew what would be expected of them: immediate children, so that Kranen could have sons to place in the Army under his command. The idea of having kids made Kazen sick to their stomach. Worse, the idea of having kids with a stranger, let alone a man, especially one that would treat them as his object to kiss and touch whenever he wanted. It took everything Kazen had not to throw up.

"...that faggot, kissing one of the recruits," Kranen sneered. "I sent him to the Boiling Rock, him and his boyfriend."

Kazen's ears tuned back into the conversation. Kranen was talking about his troops still, but it had taken a turn for the worse. He'd discovered a gay couple. Kazen wanted to scream in frustration. Every other word their father said was a homophobic curse. The Fire Nation taught all its citizens that homosexuality and being transgender was wrong; it was illegal, in fact. Kazen knew it was wrong, though, and they were quite frankly sick and tired of the slander and propaganda.

"Oh, and did I tell you about that 'it' that I had in my platoon a few weeks ago?"

Kazen's blood ran cold. They glanced up at their father to see him talking directly with their mother, who was only pretending to listen. The blood drained from Kazen's face. Kranen was talking about another nonbinary.

"I found it loitering by the toilets. It wouldn't go inside, so I asked why, and it claimed that it didn't feel comfortable with a bunch of guys. So I made it comfortable with the guys. I made the whole platoon strip and go for a swim."

Kazen clenched their fists so tightly their nails drew blood. How dare he? How dare he violate someone's privacy like that?

"Lo and behold, it got all red in the face, and we find out they've got scars on their chest. 'It' was really a girl, despite their claims that they were non-human or whatever that term is."

The fire brewed beneath the surface. Kazen could feel their chi clawing, screaming, begging to be let out. Steam rose from their sleeves. They forced it back gritted teeth.

"You know the law, of course. Girls can't sign up for the same platoon as guys. So I handed her over to the General, and you know what he did? He dressed her up, paraded her around, and kept her as a...servant, of sorts."

The heat intensified. Kazen's blood was boiling. In the back of their mind, they knew what was about to happen, but the will to stop themself just wasn't there anymore. The sea grew restless, calling their name louder, and louder, and louder. The walls were crumbling. The dam was ready to burst.

"I'm glad I have a daughter now. She didn't turn out like one of those freaks. Instead, she's going to make me the most powerful General in the Fire Nation. I can only hope she makes great grandsons, and they don't turn out to be like it."

The dam crumbled. The chains melted. The hurricane was unleashed.

"ENOUGH!" Kazen screeched.

Kranen narrowed his eyes. Their orange irises flashed dangerously. "Sit down right now, young lady."

"No."

Kranen's nostrils flared. His face purpled. "You will do as I say! I am your father!"

"You will listen to me!"

The flames flickered to life in Kazen's hands. Their parents' eyes widened. The staff screamed and ran for their lives. Kazen let the flames rage higher and higher until they licked the tantalizing flammable ceiling.

"You have spoken your last bigoted word," Kazen thundered. "You cheat, you lie, you abuse, and you think yourself above everyone. You are nothing to me. All you've ever done is hurt me and put me down. I grew strong because of you! I learned firebending and swordplay in secret. I taught myself the ways of War. I listened, and I learned, and still I was never enough for you, because I was your daughter, and not your son. Even if I was a girl, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TREAT ME AS A PAWN IN YOUR POLITICAL GAME! I am a human being! I have feelings, I have wants, I have needs, and YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM AT ALL!"

"What do you mean, 'if' you were a girl?" Kranen yelled.

In a brazen show of boldness, the likes of which Kazen had been dreaming of for months, they ripped off their dress. Their parents' jaws dropped. They saw the surgical scars. They saw the muscle tone. They saw everything. For once, Kazen's face didn't burn with shame as they stood in their undergarments; now, it was on fire with a righteous rage. And they knew they were right.

"I am nonbinary," Kazen declared. "I am the freak you determined illegal. I am the threat to your fragile perception of social norms. I am strong, and emotional, and fierce, and soft. I am feminine, yet I am masculine. I am everything you wish you had, and I am everything you hate. So say it! Say it to my face! You hate me!"

"I DO HATE YOU!" Kranen shrieked, his eyes popping out of his head. "YOU'RE NO DAUGHTER OF MINE!"

"You're damn right I'm not your daughter. I'm nobody's daughter," Kazen spat, their voice laced with venom. "I'm belong to nobody. I am my own person, and I will find my own path is this world."

"You belong to ME! YOU WILL DO AS I SAY!" Kranen screeched.

Time stopped ticking. Kranen reach out, as if in slow motion, the sparks in his hand slowly taking shape. Kazen turned their own flames toward him. The fires grew, and raged, and raced toward one another. The sparks ignited. The forces collided.

And the world exploded.

Kazen was thrown back by the force of the explosion. They shattered the window, tumbled into the garden, and skidded to a stop somewhere in the courtyard. Their whole body burned. The hair was singed off their arms. Everything felt blurry, like they were trapped in a fever dream. There was a strange ringing in their ears that only got louder as they gazed at the estate. Massive plumes of flame emerged from the dining area. Billowing, black smoke flew up in the air. Kazen couldn't see their parents anywhere. In fact, their whole side of the dining area was gone. Demolished. Obliterated. Erased from existence.

_I'm free._

The waves came slowly at first. They lapped against Kazen's consciousness, whispering encouragement. Their feet were running, their gait was stumbling, and their senses were fuzzy. Then the waves pulled harder, dragging at their ankles with every retreat. And then Kazen was falling, a victim to the waves crashing over their head, swimming against a merciless current. The water roared and tumbled and seized and bashed. It towered over Kazen, winds howling and swirling with the power of a hurricane. It drug them under, drug them far from shore, until they couldn't see the light anymore. Kazen gave up and surrendered to the waves.

Their feet left that cliff.

They soared through the air.

And the world was swept away.

At first, Kazen is certain they're dead.

Everything around them is so bright, so magical, so...peaceful, that they can't believe it's real. There's no way it's real. The soothing, almost massaging sensation rubs the pain away. Numbness blots out the stain in Kazen's memories. They killed their parents...but it didn't hurt like it should have. They felt like they hadn't really done that, like it was something that simply happened.

Then reality came crashing in—literally.

The salty wave threw Kazen on shore. They sat bolt upright, and the sounds and smells of the world exploding back into their senses. Kazen coughed and hacked the water out of their lungs. They spat out so much salt, but the overpowering taste lingered on their tongue. Kazen fought to draw in clean breaths of air. They rubbed the sand out of their eyes, then shielded them from the sun, trying to make out their surroundings. They were on a beach just like any other: a treeline only a few yards away, ocean as far as the eye can see. Kazen frowned. Where were they, and how did they get here?

"Kazen," a voice boomed.

"WHAT THE HELL—" Kazen jumped to their feet, instinctively landing in a bending stance. They whipped their head in either direction, but there wasn't a soul to be seen. "Who—?"

All of a sudden, the ground shifted beneath their feet. The water began to fall away—or was the ground rising? They couldn't tell, because either way, the fact at hand was that they were falling into the ocean, and they had about two seconds to find a handhold before they were doomed to fall into the merciless, dark wave and perish. Kazen scrambled to find a grip. They let out a shout of horror as they lost contact with the ground. Their voice was cut off as they plunged into the ocean. Kazen frantically swam to the surface, but the waves crashed over their head once more, and they inhaled a lungful of water. Kazen surfaced once more and coughed it up, only to get knocked under by another wave. They repeated the process until their lungs just couldn't keep up anymore. Then Kazen gave in, and sank further and further beneath the waves, waiting for death to take them...

But something else took them, and it certainly wasn't death. Kazen could feel a pressure under their feet. The water displaced around them, the powerful force pushing them faster and faster, until they broke the surface. Kazen gasped for air. The pressure suddenly stopped mid-air and held them their. Kazen's eyes fluttered open, still stinging from the salt. When they cleared enough to see clearly, they considered jumping back into the ocean.

Staring at them, from just below the beach where Kazen had been stranded, was the enormous face of a lion turtle.

"Kazen," the lion turtle repeated in that same, thunderous voice. "Your time is not yet come."

All the air left Kazen's lungs in a single breath as they stared down the lion turtle. "Uh—what?"

"You have lived a life of suffering, under the tyranny of a Nation that has deeply disturbed the balance of this world. You have willingly left it behind in an act of noble strength. The time is fast approaching that rift between the Fire Nation and the Air Nation is bridged. You must be that bridge."

"What? How can I be a bridge between a bunch of murders and a civilization that no longer exists?" Kazen protested

"Destroying a people does not equate to destroying their spirit."

Kazen realized the lion turtle was right. They'd seen some Air Nomad gurus around their town, and Master Piandao spoke of one from the Eastern Air Temple that had become a close friend over the years. The Air Nation still lived. But without airbending, how would they ever be the same?

"The Avatar is the bridge between the Spirit World and the Physical World. He is not meant to bridge a broken past. That bridge is meant to be you, Kazen."

Without warning, Kazen felt their chi go haywire. They involuntarily yelled as energy sizzled through their body. Kazen fought it, and fought it, and fell to their knees, but eventually, they gave in. Their chi pathways were blown wide open. Kazen gasped as spiritual energy riffled through her very soul. The air swirled. Spirits danced before them. A tumultuous roar filled their ears, and a vortex of air picked them up to place them on their feet. Then the sensation faded, and they were left shaking violently, their soul still humming in a strange sort of harmony.

"What...did you do...to me?" Kazen panted.

"A bridge must have two sides. Only a member of the Fire Nation and the Air Nation can repair this rift."

The lion turtle gave a great lurch, and Kazen realized it had stopped. They turned around to see a massive beach behind them, and beyond that, a forested land. The Earth Kingdom. Kazen faced the lion turtle, their head spinning.

"Why am I here?"

"Go. Find the Avatar. Together, you can bring balance to this world."

The lion turtle gently set Kazen on the beach. With a deep bow, it turned and swam back into the sea. Kazen was all alone now. Dangerously unsteady, and somewhat terrified, they faced away from the lion turtle. Faced the Earth Kingdom. Faced their new life.

Faced their destiny.

And then they promptly passed out.


	2. Great. Just...Great.

"Uncle...what is this?"

Iroh glanced his way, a faint smile wrinkling his old face. "A new friend, I presume."

Zuko shot him an annoyed look. "We don't have friends, Uncle."

"Nonsense! One can always find a friend if they open their heart...though a few words over a cup of tea can do the trick, too."

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. What was with Iroh and tea? That useless leaf juice did nothing to help his troubles—just like this half-dead traveler they'd stumbled across on the beach. They laid face-down in the sand, their long, dark hair tangled in an ornate headdress. Upon closer inspection, Zuko noticed the style of dress seemed familiar, too familiar. That's when he realized—

"—she's Fire Nation," he blurted out.

Iroh cocked his head at the stranger, as if puzzled. "Hm. A rich Fire Nation girl washed up on the Earth Kingdom shore...this is a mystery I have never seen in all my travels."

"Well, you can pretend you never saw it," Zuko suggested. "We've got to get to Ba Sing Se before Azula catches up to us."

"And leave one of our own to die? Prince Zuko, I expected better from you."

"We're _leaving,"_ Zuko argued.

That's when the girl woke up.

Zuko and Iroh jumped back as fire shot in every direction. The girl leveled a hand at each stranger, deep brown eyes wild with fear. Zuko poised to strike as well. He narrowed his eyes.

"Who are you, and what are you doing here?" he demanded.

"You first," the girl snapped.

"I'm not telling you any—" Zuko began.

"We are simple travelers making our way to Ba Sing Se," Iroh interrupted. "I am Mushi, and this is my nephew, Li."

"You're Fire Nation," the girl observed.

Zuko was stunned into silence. Then a moment later, he regained his composure. "How do you know that?"

"You're in a Firebending stance. Earthbenders don't stagger their feet."

Zuko glanced down to see that she was right. Face hot with embarrassment, he snapped, "Who do you think you are?"

"How do I know you won't turn me in?"

Zuko opened his mouth to speak, but his uncle beat him to it. "We are all seeking asylum from the Fire Nation beyond the walls of Ba Sing Se. We have no reason to turn on our own people."

"I don't know about you, but I've been finding it hard to trust people's word lately," the girl retorted.

"Uncle, let's leave her," Zuko grumbled. "She's not worth our time."

"I'M NOT A GIRL!" the stranger thundered. The surprising intensity behind their voice caused Zuko to stumble backward. "I'm nonbinary! If you don't like it, then you can leave!"

"Ah, I see what happened here," Iroh said calmly. "Your identity conflicted with your Nation. It banished you, in a way." The stranger's eyes widened, giving up the truth without them having to say a word. Iroh nodded slowly. "I am terribly sorry. You are in a similar situation to my nephew and I, then."

The stranger glanced between Zuko and his uncle. Their deep brown irises intelligently scanned their faces. Zuko shifted uncomfortably. This stranger was too smart for their own good. He felt incredibly seen, like he'd spilled out his entire past within a few seconds of eye contact.

"You're the banished Prince and his uncle, aren't you?" they guessed.

"No, I already told you, we're—" Zuko began.

"Yes, you are correct," Iroh said, cutting him off. "I am General Iroh, and this is Prince Zuko. We are traveling under the names Mushi and Li in order to not draw attention to ourselves."

"Uncle, what are you _doing?"_ Zuko hissed.

"I apologize for my nephew's insensitive behavior," Iroh continued, as if he didn't hear him. Zuko threw his hands up and turned away, grumbling to himself. "He has been through much lately. We are simply weary from traveling for so long. We were just on our way to catch a ferry to Ba Sing Se. You may come with us, if you would like."

"WHAT!" Zuko whirled around, embers flaring from his nostrils. "They are _not_ coming to Ba Sing Se with us!"

"Prince Zuko, there is nothing wrong with—"

"No! How do we know we can trust them? They could easily turn us in!"

"Hey! I'm right here, you know!" the stranger exclaimed. "And for the record, I wouldn't turn you in!"

"How can we trust you if you won't even tell us your name?" Zuko pointed out.

"My name is Kazen, child of Captain Kranen! I ran away from an arranged marriage! My boat capsized, I swam to shore, and I collapsed here! Happy now?"

Zuko crossed his arms. "No."

"What else do I have to do, _your highness?_ Bow to you? Kiss your feet? Tell you a little joke to wipe that sour look off your face?"

"How dare you speak to me that way!" Zuko thundered, getting in Kazen's face.

They unexpectedly stood their ground, and got even closer, until they were a mere inch away from Zuko. "I'm sorry, did I insult you, your royalness?"

 _"That's enough!"_ Iroh boomed.

Zuko and Kazen sprang apart. The old General sighed wearily, running his hands down his face. "We must learn to get along if we are to travel to Ba Sing Se together. Prince Zuko, apologize to Kazen."

"They should be apologizing to me!" Zuko countered.

"Zuko!"

The prince groaned aggravatedly. He didn't look Kazen in the eye as he mumbled, "Sorry for yelling at you."

"Apology accepted. And I'm sorry for yelling at you," Kazen admitted.

"Good," Iroh said. "Now let us prepare to leave. The refugee center is not far from here."

Zuko huffed. He turned on his heel, getting away from Kazen as fast as he could. He retrieved his sack of minimal belongings and aggressively threw it over his shoulder. Who did Kazen think they were, talking to him like that? No one had ever spoken to him like that, especially not someone who knew his status. He was a Prince. He had the right to be treated with respect. Kazen spoke to him like he—like he wasn't—

_Like I wasn't anything more than a refugee._

Zuko angrily drove the thought from his mind. He was banished now, but once he had the Avatar, his father would welcome him home as a hero. He would go down in history as the greatest prince to ever live. Whenever things got tough, he imagined crowds receiving him from his ship, chanting his name, praising him for his great accomplishment. He could hear the pride in his father's voice as he restored his honor and declared him Crown Prince once again. It was all he'd wanted for the last three years.

And Kazen made it sound worthless.

Agni, he hated them. Even as he approached them for the second time that day, their searching eyes tested him, dared him to say something, just so they could refute it. He'd only met them five minutes ago, and he already knew they were argumentative, hotheaded, and stubborn beyond belief. For a moment, he wondered if that's how he came off, but he frustratedly drove the thought out of his mind as quickly as it came.

"Kazen, your headdress," Iroh noted, "you might want to remove it. It gives you away as Fire Nation nobility."

"Oh." Kazen struggled to removed the mangled piece of metal. Zuko winced with second-hand pain as they ripped out several strands of hair. He remembered what it was like to have stupidly long hair. He was glad he'd cut it short. It was one thing less to deal with while he was on the run. Apparently, Kazen thought the same thing.

"Can I borrow that knife?" they asked.

Iroh blinked. "Are you sure? It will take you years to grow it out again."

"I've...wanted to do this for a long time," Kazen admitted.

A shadow passed over their face. Zuko didn't understand why their suddenly quiet tone of voice hit him so hard. Maybe it's because he was expecting them to snap at Iroh, or maybe it's because he empathized with the absolute agony that flashed in the depths of their eyes—not that he understood why or what it stemmed from—but nonetheless, it forced him to rethink this hotheaded mess of a stranger. Maybe they weren't as horrible as he thought they were.

Kazen sliced the knife through their hair, and it fell to the ground in a heap. They trimmed a few of the ends until it was a crude, but charming, new haircut. Zuko caught himself staring. They looked...better. Natural. More them, he guessed. Then they changed into Earth Kingdom garments, and it really accentuated their androgyny. Zuko had never seen a person balance beauty and handsomeness so perfectly.

Kazen looked up to catch him staring. They smirked. "Well hello there, Sparkles, glad to see you find me attractive too."

 _Nope. They're still horrible._ "Let's get going," Zuko ordered. "And don't ever call me Sparkles again."

"Whatever you say, Sparkles."

It was a hassle getting tickets for the ferry ride to Ba Sing Se, especially because Iroh's new friend had no passports. They made it onto the boat in the end, though, so Zuko begrudgingly put up with Kazen's antics. A kid named Jet approached them both with the proposition of stealing food from the greedy captain. Kazen, like some goody-two-shoes, blew him off. Zuko happily joined him. When they got back, Kazen refused to eat the food they'd stolen. They gave it all to a family of seven instead. Zuko couldn't figure them out. If they were really from the Fire Nation, then why would they help Earth Nation citizens? And if they were such a bleeding heart, why didn't they help steal the food in the first place?

They arrived in Ba Sing Se with no problems. Aside from Jet possibly witnessing Iroh heat up his tea—Agni, that man drove him mad—they had safely passed beyond the walls without alerting anyone to their Fire Nation roots. They picked their way through the Lower Ring of the city, following the new wave of refugees to the vacant homes in the distance. Zuko kept shooting a furtive glance over his shoulder to check on Kazen, but they showed no signs of deserting, let alone turning them in. They kept their head down and their mouth shut. Zuko wished they would just leave already. They'd caused him enough trouble as it was.

Iroh, with his uncanny ability to sweet talk everyone, got them jobs at a tea shop. The owner even offered them lodging in the attic above the shop. Iroh happily accepted before Zuko could protest. The owner showed them upstairs so they could get settled in. Zuko glared daggers at the makeshift beds and dirty floors. This wasn't how a royalty was supposed to live. He glanced sideways at Iroh, wondering how on Earth the man could be whistling pleasantly, as if nothing was wrong.

Then he noticed Kazen piecing together a mat in the corner.

"What are you still doing here?" Zuko snapped.

"Prince Zuko, be kind to young Kazen," Iroh said gently. "They will be staying with us. All three of us are working in this tea shop, so why should they go somewhere else?"

"Maybe because they're not welcome here," Zuko growled.

"I can leave if I make you uncomfortable, your highness," Kazen said coldly. "I'm used to people not wanting me around."

Zuko felt like they'd slapped him across the face. They'd aimed that comment directly at him, but he could tell they were projecting from that same source that drew a shadow over their face from earlier. Before Zuko could come up with a decent comeback, Iroh stepped in.

"You are always welcome here, Kazen," Iroh reassured them. "We can do more good together than apart."

For a moment, an expression of shock passed over Kazen's face. But Zuko blinked, and it was gone, almost as if he'd imagined it. Kazen smiled sheepishly. "Thank you, General."

"Call me Iroh."

Zuko huffed. He organized his meagre belongings along the wall, then slouched on his bed, which dug into his tailbones. He couldn't get comfortable, even when he laid down. How was he supposed to sleep? Anger boiled up in his chest. The rich in the Upper Ring were probably sleeping on the finest beds with imported materials from all over the world. Their mattresses alone had to be worth a fortune. That was what _he_ should be sleeping on. He was a _Prince_. He deserved to wake up without a sore back, at the very least!

Then he remembered the captain on the ferry. He'd stolen from him to level the playing field. If he could get into the Upper Ring, he could take their useless expensive trinkets and sell them to buy a mattress. He'd sleep like a king.

Zuko touched his bag, where his Blue Spirit mask laid hidden. He could become the Spirit again. No one would see his face. The Blue Spirit was a Fire Nation fugitive, right? An enemy of the Fire Nation was the Earth Kingdom's friend. And no one would suspect Li, the poor kid working in a Lower Ring tea shop to support his old uncle. Not a soul could put two and two together.

Aside from Kazen, of course.

As if thinking about that annoying teenager summoned their even more annoying voice, Zuko caught the tail end of their conversation with Iroh.

"...teach me? You'd really do that?" they gasped in disbelief.

"Of course. All benders should learn the basics."

Kazen's face reddened. "Thank you. I...joined pretty late. Master Hui Jaong didn't exactly...understand my situation. He thought I was a boy fresh out of the recruiting class."

"We will fix the gap in your bending with time. For now, we should get to work. That poor manager is clearly understaffed."

Zuko wanted to scream in frustration. First, his uncle took Kazen in, then he gave them clothes, then helped them onto the ferry, got them a job, and a roof over their head, and now he was going to teach them _firebending?_ Kazen should be working for them, as indebted to him and Iroh as they were! Why was Iroh willingly helping an angry outcast from the Fire Nation?

_Why is he helping you?_

That deeply disturbing thought was quickly put out of Zuko's mind as he entered the tea shop. The manager handed each of them an apron with the tea shop's logo on it. Zuko felt ridiculous to moment his tied it around his neck. As the manager showed them the ropes, his agitation only increased. He shouldn't have to work. All his life, he'd been raised to lead, not to follow. And this was humiliating.

Throughout the day, customers complained, the manager ordered him around, and the kids kept pointing at his scar. He was used to people staring, but he'd always been able to snap at them before. Now, he had to smile, or at least pretend he didn't mind, and keep a pleasant "customer service mindset", as his uncle called it.

Zuko called it a suck-up mentality.

By the end of the week, Zuko was ready to burn the teashop to the ground. He didn't know how he could take another day of this, let alone another week, and Iroh had said something about staying for a few months. Zuko flopped onto his bed and covered his head with a pillow, trying to block the cruel world out.

"He was a lovely young man, don't you think?" Iroh mentioned.

"Yes, but that young woman was naturally stunning," Kazen said. "And she was very complimentary of your tea."

"The secret to good tea is proper aging—and a little love," Iroh laughed.

Zuko chucked his pillow onto the floor. "Will you two stop gossiping about tea? We were already around it for a whole week!"

"There is never too much talk about tea," Iroh protested. "On the contrary, we should talk about it more! Tea always calms a stormy mind. You should try jasmine, nephew."

"I'm not trying anything," Zuko huffed.

"Then go back to being a sourpuss, I guess," Kazen teased. "We'll talk about tea without you."

Zuko covered his head with his pillow once more, wishing it would just suffocate him. Kazen was getting on his nerves before, but now they were downright _infuriating!_ Serving tea to ungrateful, whiny customers was enough for a single day. Having to deal with Kazen's witty remarks and snide comments was just too much. His patience ran even thinner when he was around them, and he didn't have much to begin with. Why did they have to drive him so crazy!

Zuko spent the rest of the evening listening to Iroh teaching Kazen proper breathing exercises. He wanted to block it out. Kazen was a great listener, a fast learner, easily a teacher's pet. They knew how to charm people. They did everything Iroh said without question, without bringing up what they'd been previously taught. Zuko hated it. Iroh had never been so positive with him. He'd always pushed him and frustrated him and brought him to his breaking point—

_Maybe that's because all you ever did was argue with him._

_Zuko huffed. Shut up, conscience. I don't need your slander right now._

As the sun set, Iroh and Kazen retired to their beds. Zuko waited for their breathing to even before he moved a muscle. He dressed himself in all black, tied on the Blue Spirit mask, and tucked his dao swords into their sheaths across his back. After one more check to make sure Kazen and Iroh were deeply asleep, Zuko escaped through the window and dropped to the street below.

It didn't take long to reach the Middle Ring. He scaled a few buildings, stowed away on the roof of a train, and held on all the way to the Upper Ring. He waited for the next opening, then pounced to the ground, and stealthily picked his way through the shadows. The Upper Ring had hardly any security. They expected their precious walls to keep the riffraff out.

 _Nice try_ , Zuko snorted.

It didn't take long to find an easy target. An enormous estate foolishly left their sunroom blinds open, so all could see the treasures they displayed inside. Zuko carefully melted the door handle until the lock failed, then kicked it open. Not a souls stirred. Of course. The rich slept fat and happy in their enormous beds with fluffy comforters and cloud-like pillows. Zuko took a few golden statues of badger-moles that would be worth more than enough for a good bed and stole away into the darkness.

He passed many houses on the streets, none of which seemed particularly memorable. They were all big, ornate, and gaudy. He was about to look away in disgust when a glimmer caught his eye.

_What the heck...?_

Zuko kept to the shadows as he crept closer to investigate. He came upon a smaller house than the rest, one with a big grassy area and a pond out back. A single figure was moving in the moonlight. It appeared to be a boy, about his age, with a metallic weapon in hand. Zuko assumed it was a sword, but as he got closer, he realized it was a boomerang. The boy was dressed in traditional water tribe clothing and wore a warrior's wolf tail. He seemed familiar. That's when Zuko's recognized him.

_Sokka? What is he doing here?_

Sokka continued to slash his boomerang through empty space, letting out ill-timed puffs of air as he did so. Zuko stared at him in confusion. If Sokka was here, that meant the Avatar was here as well. The Earth King had probably placed them in temporary housing. But why would they be here, in Ba Sing Se? Weren't they looking for an Earthbending teacher? They weren't running from someone, were they? Didn't the Avatar know that Sozin's Comet was—

Without warning, Sokka threw his boomerang, and with perfect accuracy, he hit a target in the distance that Zuko hadn't noticed before. Sokka's heavy breaths turned into mist, and with the moonlight highlighting his brown skin, he appeared ethereal, almost spirit-like. Zuko stared, captivated.

Then Sokka's hair fell down, and Zuko's breath caught in his throat.

He felt hot all over, like he'd been firebending an intense flame. His chi wasn't flowing, though. He clearly hadn't been firebending in hours. What was wrong with him?

Zuko watched, intrigued, as Sokka took out a sword. He struck at imaginary opponents. His form was terrible, but Zuko's eyes were drawn to the way his muscles rippled beneath his skin, and he couldn't stop staring. That stupid heat returned to his cheeks. He could easily imagine his face burning bright red beneath the mask. Zuko wanted to curse. What was going on with him? Why couldn't he stop staring?

The moonlight shone in his eyes, and Zuko almost tripped. Those _eyes_. Crystalline blue, full of intelligence, creativity, and life. A freedom of thought that Zuko had never known. They balanced laughter, deep thought, and joy in a way that was almost teasing. Then Sokka turned away, and Zuko's heart sank with disappointment. Why was that? Why did he enjoy looking at the enemy?

That's when he realized.

 _Oh...OH._ And then another realization. _Wait, I'm...what?_

_Oh no._

Zuko wasn't stupid. He knew exactly what was happening.

And he was _pissed._


	3. Good Luck With That

Kazen took one look at Zuko on Saturday morning and just knew.

Of course they hadn't been sleeping when Zuko snuck out. They knew the kid was troubled. He hated working in the tea shop, so it was only a matter of time before he acted out. Kazen expected him to do something stupid. They hadn't expected him to come upstairs looking like _that_ , though—red in the face, somewhat pale, shaky, and mentally on a different planet.

You know, the good old I-just-discovered-I'm-not-straight look.

So, naturally, Kazen had to tease him about it.

"Who's the lucky guy?" Kazen asked.

Zuko nearly jumped out of his skin. "What?"

"You heard me."

Zuko glared coldly. "There is no one, there never has been anyone, and there never will be anyone. And it would be a girl. Obviously."

"Obviously," Kazen said sarcastically, earning them an even colder look. "Look, I'm just saying, guys aren't really my type, but there's some pretty attractive ones here in Ba Sing Se."

"Feel free to shut up anytime now," Zuko suggested wryly.

"Whatever you say, Sparkles."

"Stop calling me that!"

"Wow, so aggressive. Was this the one that got away?" Sparks flared from Zuko's nostrils. "You don't scare me, Pipsqueak. You're literally four inches shorter than me. And you're just a dramatic, angry boy."

"I swear to Agni, if you don't shut your mouth in the next _five seconds_ —"

"What is going on here?"

Kazen turned to see Iroh standing at the top of the stairs. They shrugged. "Just a friendly conversation."

Iroh glanced back and forth between his enraged nephew and Kazen, then sighed wearily. "I see. Clearly, there cannot be peace in a quiet, unproductive Saturday morning. Prince Zuko, why don't you teach Kazen some basic forms?"

"I'm not teaching them _anything_ ," Zuko protested.

"It is either that, or working in the tea shop an extra day," Iroh reminded him.

Zuko paused, visibly weighing his options. Kazen smirked as he let out a heavy sigh. "Fine. Let's go, Kazen."

Kazen followed Zuko through the Lower Ring of Ba Sing Se. The Prince had taken far more breaks than them throughout the week and already knew the local landscape like the back of his hand. Kazen figured he'd learned the landscape of the Upper Ring pretty well by now, too, and all the hiding places along the way. So they weren't surprised when Zuko led them behind a shady abandoned building and lifted a sewer grate.

"Cool, I've always wanted to hide out in a sewer," Kazen said sarcastically.

"Just get in. It's not as bad as you think," Zuko groaned.

Kazen shrugged and did as they were told. It turned out, the sewers of Ba Sing Se were not as horrible as they'd imagined. So much water flowed through the tunnel that it swept away the worst of the smell. There was even a median that acted as a sort of walkway. Zuko led Kazen through the sewer for a ways before stopping in a large, open space below a bigger building.

"That building above us used to be a bunch of apartments," Zuko explained. "Now it and the area around it is abandoned. No one will bother us here."

"As long as you're sure, Sifu Zuko," Kazen teased.

Zuko was clearly annoyed with the title, but he let it go. "Alright. Show me what you know."

Kazen shifted their feet into a bending stance. They took a deep breath. Focusing on the chi flowing through their body, they drew the flames to the surface. Before long, little fires danced between Kazen's fingertips, then grew, and become raging flames. Kazen curled their fingers into fists and struck out, letting off two volleys of fire that soared the length of the tunnel. Then they drew the fire into a single ball, and released it, letting flames rocket in every direction. They glanced at Zuko, somewhat confident in their performance, only to find him shaking his head.

"You're focusing on power. It's all about breath. Watch me do it."

Kazen took a step back, skin prickling with irritation. Zuko's superiority complex was really showing itself. The boy confidently took on a bending stance, then inhaled deeply. When he struck outward, he exhaled, and his fire flared to life as a massive fireball. He rhythmically breathed as he continued to show off basic moves; inhale with the stance, exhale with the strike. Kazen watched with mild shock as Zuko completed motion after motion, confident, powerful, and dangerous. They could tell he'd practiced these hundreds of times.

 _Ah. That's why Iroh sent him off to teach me. He enjoys showing off his hard work._ Kazen smiled to themself as Zuko did a flip, shooting a fireball from his feet as he landed. _He really is quite good._

"That's how you do it," Zuko said. "Now you try."

He got into a bending stance. Kazen mirrored him. When Zuko breathed in, Kazen breathed in. When he exhaled, Kazen exhaled. When he struck out with his fist, Kazen struck out with their fist. Their inner fire burst to life in a brilliant display of power. Kazen watched as it soared down the tunnel and eventually sputtered out.

"What was that?" Zuko snapped.

Kazen scoffed, offended. "What do you mean? I did exactly what you did!"

"You're holding back," Zuko accused. "Why?"

"Why wouldn't I? There's no reason to put all my strength into every shot. Sometimes it's about finesse, not power."

"Fire is the element of _power._ You're supposed to put all your strength into every shot!"

"Fire is the element of _life!_ How have you not realized that?"

Zuko's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

Kazen closed their eyes. They summoned their inner fire. They let it rise to the surface, heating their skin. Then they concentrated it in their hands, until a small flame flickered on the tip of their pointer finger. They let it weave between their fingers, crawl up their thumb, and come to a halt on their palm. Instead of letting it grow, they let the fire trail up their arm, across their collarbones, and spiral around their core. Kazen finally stopped the fire in front of their heart, letting it rise and fall with the beat of their heart, in time with their breathing. Zuko was staring at them when they finally opened their eyes.

"Fire is the element of life, of a person's soul," Kazen explained. "I may be mostly self-taught, but I didn't need to be taught to know this."

Zuko was silent for several moments. Then he blinked rapidly, as if coming to his senses. He scrambled to regain his composure. "I—uh—knew that. Uncle mentioned it a few times."

"Try it."

"What?"

"Try it," Kazen repeated. "It can't hurt you if you're calm."

"No. That move is useless," Zuko protested.

"It's not an attack, Imbecile!" Kazen exclaimed exasperatedly. "It's meant to center your chi! Not everything has to be an attack!"

Zuko looked ready to protest, but he didn't. He sighed dramatically. _"Fine."_

The pair of them inhaled. Then, almost mirroring one another, their fire rose to the surface. Kazen trained their eyes on Zuko, and he trained his eyes on them. He followed Kazen's lead. They let the fire trail up their limbs, around their core, across their back. It was so...intimate, the way a firebender centered their chi. It was just them and their inner flame, risen to the surface. It was a balance of anger and peace, so delicate, so fragile, yet incredibly powerful. And it was all centered in that little flame—that little flame that became the firebender's whole world.

Kazen let their fire return to their body. Zuko did the same. Reading his expression suddenly became impossible. Kazen could tell something powerfully disrupting had crossed his mind while he worked with the flame. The inner fire had a way of reminding its bender of things they'd rather bury. Kazen wished they could get him to open up, or to simply know what was going on in that tempest of a mind, because as they watched the anger crumble away, and the sorrow rise to the surface, they saw the heart of gold buried deep within the Prince, and they wanted nothing more than to know it.

But Zuko hid it like it was everything he had to lose. And Kazen let him.

"Um," Zuko coughed awkwardly, "that was...cool. Interesting." He cleared his throat. "Ready to try some more advanced moves?"

"Sure."

For the next hour, Zuko went about teaching Kazen as if nothing unusual had happened. His angry, cold demeanor returned, and Kazen exacerbated it as much as they could. Kazen was doing well until they got to a particular move. They raised their arms above their head, just as Zuko showed them. They brought them down violently, and let the power build inside them, until it was ready to burst. They imagined the fireball taking shape within their soul. But just as they were about to let it out, Kazen froze. A fleeting image of their parents' house exploded in their mind. Kazen abruptly dropped their arms.

"What are you doing? That was perfect!" Zuko said. "Your form was right for once! Why did you stop?"

"I don't know, okay?" Kazen snapped, shocking themself with their harsh tone.

Zuko appeared taken aback, but he recovered quickly. "Try it again!"

"I don't want to," Kazen mumbled.

"What was that?"

"I SAID I DON'T WANT TO!"

All of a sudden, a blast of air sent Zuko flying. He crashed to the ground several feet away. Kazen's eyes flew wide. They looked at their hands, then back at Zuko, who was just as shocked as they were.

"Did I...Did I just _airbend_?!" Kazen exclaimed.

"That was definitely airbending," Zuko wheezed as he rose to his feet. "I've been hit by Aang enough times to know."

"What? I—wait—I'm a firebender! How can I—" Kazen's breath caught in their throat. "No way. That lion turtle..." Kazen ran to Zuko, grabbing his wrist to pull him along. "We have to see your uncle, right now."

"Why? What happened?"

"I'll explain when we get there!"

Iroh's eyebrows shot up when he saw his nephew and Kazen come running up the attic stairs. They keeled over, panting hard, like they'd run a long distance in a short amount of time. He shot the kids a questioning look, but they answered before he had to speak.

"You'll never guess what I did," Kazen said.

"They're...airbender," Zuko panted.

Iroh shot to his feet. "Kazen can airbend?"

"And firebend," Zuko added.

"How is this even possible?" Iroh questioned.

"I left out a bit of the truth," Kazen admitted, internally screaming about _still_ withholding the truth, but too excited to contemplate it. "When my boat capsized, a lion turtle rescued me. It connected me to the Spirit World and messed with my chi. I didn't understand at the time, but I'm certain it gave me the ability to airbend."

"This is very interesting," Iroh said, an odd twinkle in his eyes. "A firebender, given the ability to airbend...I have never heard of such a thing. Only the Avatar has ever had more than one bending ability. Why would it give such a gift?"

Kazen bit their lip. "I...think it's because it wanted me to do something. Something drastic. It told me that the Avatar is the bridge between the spirits and humans. He cannot be the bridge between the Air Nation and the Fire Nation. The lion turtle...tasked me with that responsibility, and gave me airbending to do so."

"A wise decision," Iroh remarked. "The Fire Nation has hurt you, as it hurt the Air Nation. But you are still Fire Nation, and now you are part of the Air Nation, too. You can be the bridge, Kazen." Iroh smiled warmly. "The lion turtle was wise to choose such an open mind for this task."

Kazen's heart raced. "I thought it was a dream. But now..." They bit their lip. "It's a lot of responsibility, but I'm willing to take it on. I need to follow the lion turtle's instructions. I need to find the Avatar."

Zuko visibly tensed up. "It told you to join the Avatar?"

"Well, it didn't say join, per say, but definitely find."

Zuko's expression softened. He looked like he was about to say something. Then, as if he had forgotten himself, he glowered at the floor once again. "Good luck with that."

Kazen rolled their eyes. Of course he'd be bitter. He'd been trying to capture the Avatar for three years, and now a stranger that he'd known for a week had the task of _working_ with him. "Thanks."

"Kazen," Iroh said. "I am very glad we have crossed paths with you. It is an honor to have an airbender in our presence."

"Don't be ridiculous, Uncle," Zuko snapped. "They're hardly an airbender. They're more of a firebender than anything."

"Nevertheless, it is a great honor to have a dual bender in our home," Iroh said.

Kazen grinned triumphantly as Zuko muttered to himself.

Kazen awoke to the sound of footsteps. They glanced to see Zuko's bed empty once again. Groaning, they realized he was out doing Agni-knows-what in the dead of night, and it was 100% illegal.

_I better make sure he doesn't get arrested._

Kazen noiselessly left the tea shop. They caught movement out of the corner of their eye and followed it. A dark figure—definitely Zuko, by the height and stature—was deftly weaving through the Lower Ring and heading toward the train station. Kazen had to admit, Zuko had great stealth, but one of these times, the Dai Li would be waiting for him. The Dai Li had been increasingly active in the week since they'd arrived, and from everything Kazen had heard about them, they sounded less like cultural protectors and more like corrupt police officers. If Zuko was arrested, he would never be seen or heard from again. Kazen couldn't let that happen.

For Iroh, of course.

They nearly caught up to him by the time he reached the train station. Kazen had been contemplating his Blue Spirit mask the whole journey, wondering if it was a knick-knack or the real thing. The Blue Spirit was an enemy of the Fire Nation. He had stolen the Avatar from General Zhou. Zuko could very well be impersonating the real guy, but considering Zuko's recklessness, his desire to capture the Avatar, and his dual dao swords...Kazen wondered if he was the real thing.

All thoughts were driven from Kazen's mind as they latched onto the roof of a train car, copying what Zuko had done. They made a little more noise, but the earthbenders driving the train didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. Kazen let out a sigh of relief as the train jerked into motion. They clung on for dear life until the train rumbled to a stop in the Upper Ring. Then they disembarked beneath the tracks and looked for Zuko.

 _Where is that imbecile?_ they wondered. In every direction, there were only giant houses, dim streetlights, and lengthy shadows. Zuko could be anywhere. Kazen walked as quickly and quietly as they could under cover of darkness. The streets remained empty. Not a soul was in sight. After a half hour of wandering, anxiety began to get the better of Kazen. The longer they stayed, the greater the risk of discovery. Kazen could get themself and Zuko and Iroh kicked out of Ba Sing Se if they were caught.

_Come on, Zuko, where are you?_

Just as Kazen was beginning to think about returning to the train station, they saw a flash of blue. Kazen's head snapped up to see the Blue Spirit crouching on a nearby rooftop. His bag was full of stolen treasures, but his attention seemed to be elsewhere. Kazen followed his gaze to the adjacent house, where a lone figure was practicing swordplay in the moonlight. Dressed from head to toe in water tribe clothing, and looking about fifteen or sixteen years old, he was unmistakably one of the water tribe siblings that was rumored to travel with the Avatar.

 _The Avatar is in Ba Sing Se?_ Kazen furrowed their brow. They glanced up to see Zuko perched in the same position as ten minutes ago. He did nothing; he simply watched Sokka practice. He'd obviously been here before. He knew the Avatar was in Ba Sing Se. So why hadn't he told Kazen about it?

Then they realized.

 _Oh! That must be the boy he's falling for!_ Kazen suddenly slapped a hand to their mouth, stifling the giggles bubbling up in their diaphragm. _That's just beautiful. The Prince of the Fire Nation, falling for the friend of the Avatar. No wonder he's so pissy about it! He's falling for the enemy! Oh, this is too good!_

"Hey, you! What are you doing on my roof?"

Alarm bells blared in Kazen's head. Their eyes landed on a frantic Zuko, who was desperately trying to escape the grasp of a tall man. The struggle drew citizens out of their houses to see what the commotion was about. Kazen panicked and ran behind a large statue, hoping it obscured them enough from view.

"Get off of me!" Zuko growled.

"You stole my golden rhino-dog!" the man accused.

"I didn't steal anything from you!" Zuko protested.

The finally managed to dislodge the man's grip and escaped into the night. But the man wasn't so lucky. He lost his balance. Kazen's heart skipped several beats as his feet left the roof.

"NO!" they shouted.

It happened before they could blink. One moment, they were reaching out, and the next, a gust of air whooshed from their hands. The vortex caught the man mid-air and gently lowered him to the ground. The onlooker's jaws dropped. Kazen froze, equal parts terrified and relieved. They'd just airbended _again._

"Who did that?" a voice demanded.

Kazen looked to their right to see the water tribe boy standing in the street, searching the onlookers. Before they could start a commotion, Kazen stepped out of the shadows, holding their hands up.

"It was me," the admitted.

To their relief, the boy's eyes lit up in pure excitement. "Oh, man, this is awesome. Aang is going to love this!"

"I'm going to love what?"

Kazen thought they were going to have a heart attack. Whirling around, they laid eyes on the Avatar for the first time. He looked nothing like they'd imagined: short, young, dressed in traditional orange and yellow monk clothing, and covered in blue airbender tattoos. But all the same, Kazen's heart swelled with excitement. This was the boy that had given them hope in their darkest moments. This was the boy they needed to find.

This was the boy they would change the world with.

"Another airbender!" Sokka exclaimed, ripping Kazen from their thoughts.

"WHAT?!" Aang's jaw dropped. He ran up to Kazen, gray eyes sparkling with intense hope and excitement. "You're an airbender?"

"I saw them airbend myself!" Sokka confirmed.

"Where have you been this whole time? I thought I was the only one!" Aang threw his arms around Kazen, laughing so joyfully that it almost pierced Kazen's heart. "What's your name?"

"Kazen," they replied, a little breathlessly.

Aang suddenly grabbed their wrist and pulled them toward his house. "Come on, you have to meet the Gaang and tell us everything about you!"

Kazen followed, a joyful laugh escaping from their lips.


	4. What Am I Doing?!

_Stupid, stupid, STUPID!_ Zuko paced outside of the tea shop, running his hands through his hair. _You'd already gotten what you needed! All you had to do was go to the train station! And instead you went to look at Sokka! You had ONE JOB!_

 _"Stupid!"_ Zuko hissed out loud.

Why had he done that? He had been mindful of his movements the night before. He had taken only a few useless artifacts from some showy rich guy, and he could have escaped into the night, no problem. But he passed the Avatar's house, saw Sokka, and froze. It was like his body acted against his brain. He'd climbed onto that roof, hardly noticing what he was doing, the only thought in his mind that Sokka was training, and he had to see him. His eyes were so intent on the Water Tribe warrior that he'd forgotten to pay attention to his surroundings. Then that man got to him—he'd pushed him—he'd fallen off that roof—

Zuko sank down against the door of the tea shop, pressing his palms against his eyes. That man had to have broken at least ten bones after a fall from that height. And it was entirely Zuko's fault. He could have saved the man, but he had run like he'd stolen something—which he had, though it wasn't just that reason that had him fleeing the crime scene.

He was _mortified_ to be caught watching another boy.

Zuko could hear his father's disapproving voice in the back of his mind. He could taste the disgust laced into his words. He could hear Azula's maniacal cackle; feel his mother's disappointed gaze; see the rejection in both of his parents' eyes; and worst of all, watch Iroh turn him away.

That last imagination hit him like a ton of bricks. He didn't know why it wounded him so deeply. Iroh wasn't his father. He'd tagged along simply because...well, Zuko didn't necessarily know why his uncle had tagged along, but it definitely wasn't because he wanted to. It was probably an order from the Fire Lord, or even an excuse to travel the world in search of better tea leaves. Either way, Zuko had frustratedly grown to rely on Iroh for direction, and he couldn't afford to lose him.

_I've taken him for granted. He could easily have left me so many times...why would he even bother staying?_

Zuko shook his head, sighing exasperatedly. Now wasn't the time to think about his uncle and his strange actions. He had to figure out how to get Sokka out of his head before he caused a problem. He couldn't detour to see him every time he stole from the rich; the Dai Li would pick up on his pattern. If he got caught, he'd be handed over to the Earth King, which would ultimately result in him being delivered to Azula, and that was a death sentence in itself.

So he had to find a solution, fast.

But that was just the problem: he couldn't find one. He had to continue his raids on the upper ring. Iroh appreciated Zuko's gifts; he'd already gotten him a better mattress that prevented his back from tying into a knot every night. If Zuko didn't continue to provide, Iroh could easily tire of him, and without his help, Zuko would be out of a job and on the streets in a matter of hours. So maybe he could steal from the other side of the Upper Ring, where he was nowhere near the Water Tribe warrior? But he would still have to pass his house on the way back to the train station...

 _I'm going about this all wrong!_ Zuko thought angrily. _What if I just DON'T STOP AT HIS HOUSE? Simple problem, simple solution!_

But it wasn't that simple, and Zuko knew it. Once his eyes caught sight of Sokka, bathed in moonlight, his muscles gleaming with hard-earned sweat, he was entranced. He couldn't help it. No matter how much his brain protested, his body did what it wanted.

He couldn't avoid him, but he couldn't stay; so what in Agni's name was he supposed to do?

"Hey, dumbass, you'll never guess what you made me do."

Zuko nearly jumped out of his skin. He glanced to his right to see Kazen leaning casually against the wall. Already having been frustrated, and now furious, Zuko yanked Kazen around a corner and into a dark alley to practically shout, _"What the hell are you doing?!"_

"Sorry, I didn't know short, dark, and broody was too focused on his long-lost love to hear me coming."

"I'm not in love," Zuko retorted, glaring daggers at them.

"I didn't say you were," Kazen said, smirking. Zuko paused, realizing what he'd just admitted, and he wanted to scream. Apparently, the inclination showed, because Kazen smiled broadly. "So you are falling for someone. I'll figure out who it is before long."

Zuko clenched his fists. "What are you doing out in the middle of the night?"

"First off, it's nearly sunrise. Second off, what were you doing in the middle of the night?"

"Nothing!"

"Hm. I could have sworn I followed you all the way to the Upper Ring, but maybe I was just dreaming. Some dream, though. I saw the Blue Spirit knock a guy off a roof."

Zuko's face paled. Kazen knew he was the Blue Spirit. Had they seen him watching Sokka? If they had, it was all over. They wouldn't be able to keep their mouth shut. Iroh would know he'd been stealing—he'd find out about Sokka—his life would be over—

"I saved the guy, by the way."

Zuko snapped out of his thoughts. "I'm sorry, what?"

"That guy. You know, the one you shoved off the roof? I saved him, with airbending." Zuko's eyes widened. The man was okay? He hadn't fallen to his death? "There was a whole crowd to see it and everything. And guess who saw me do it? That Water Tribe boy, Sokka."

 _"Sokka?"_ Zuko blurted out a bit too quickly. Kazen raised a brow at him. If it there was any blood left in Zuko's face, it left in that moment. He cleared his throat. "I—uh—wasn't expecting him—one of the Avatar's friends—to see you. Airbending. And all."

"...Uh-huh," Kazen said slowly, giving Zuko a weird look. Anxiety crawled through his veins. _They know. They have to know._ "Anyway, he called the Avatar over, and Aang was all sorts of excited. I think he almost cried. Then he took me back to his house and introduced me to the rest of the Gaang—"

"'Gaang'?"

"That's what they call themselves now, keep up," Kazen said impatiently. Their face suddenly broke into a giddy grin. "So, long story short, I'm being trained by the Avatar now!"

"You're _what_?!" Zuko exclaimed. "How did you convince them?"

"I told them the part of the truth they needed to hear—my name is Kazen, I'm a refugee, and a lion turtle suddenly gave me airbending and tasked me with joining the Avatar. They accepted it right away."

"Wow," Zuko breathed. An odd prickling sensation fizzled in his gut. "That's...great."

"What, jealous that I'm stealing your man?" Kazen joked.

Zuko's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "What? Sokka—I'm not—"

"Zuko, I was talking about Aang. Obviously," Kazen snorted.

His heart sped up to near-fatal rates. _Agni, if they didn't know before, they can't not know now!_ Zuko cleared his throat awkwardly. "I knew that. Obviously. Why else would I be jealous?" He crossed his arms and frowned in an attempt regain his composure. "You got closer to the Avatar in a single day than I've gotten to him in three years."

"I thought Iroh said you captured him a few times?"

"That's beside the point!" Zuko exploded.

Kazen put their hands up in mock surprise. "Okay, got it, no more teasing for you today. You're obviously more sensitive than usual."

 _How else am I supposed to feel when I'm falling for the wrong gender?!_ Zuko wanted to scream. Instead, he shot Kazen his signature frown and said, "I'm not sensitive."

"Ah, just dramatic, then. It's a royalty thing, right?"

Zuko would have firebended if they weren't in the middle of an Earth Kingdom stronghold. He restrained his roaring inner fire and turned to walk inside the tea shop. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."

"Whatever you say, Sparkles."

_"Stop calling me that!"_

They tiptoed inside the shop. With the sun barely lighting up the horizon, and the roof blocking the weak moonlight, the inside was dark, and Zuko could hardly see a thing. He accidentally ran into a table, knocking over a chair in the process. It clattered obnoxiously to the floor. Kazen whipped around.

"Zuko, what are you doing? I thought you were a stealth master!" Kazen whispered.

"I have one good eye! And it's pitch black in here!" Zuko hissed.

"Who's there?"

Zuko's heart missed several beats as he turned to see Iroh at the foot of the attic stairs. He shot Kazen an alarmed look, but they shared it for only a second before Kazen's face broke into a smile. They faced Iroh with a perfectly innocent note to their voice.

"Iroh, I'm so sorry to wake you! I couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk about the city, and Zuko must have followed me. You'll never believe what happened while I was out, though! The Avatar saw me airbend, and now he's going to train me!"

"That's wonderful news!" Iroh cheered.

Zuko stood in a stunned silence, more similar to a statue than a human, as Kazen explained the imaginary details to Iroh. Kazen had just lied to his uncle's face...but why? They had every reason to tell the truth. It was his own fault for running off and getting caught stealing. It was his fault the man had been pushed off the roof. So why was Kazen covering for them? And how were they so good at cover stories? Their voice flowed through the made-up events almost as if they believed they'd really happened. What happened to them before they ran away?

Clearly, Kazen was far more complicated than sarcasm and friendly banter.

Iroh didn't seem suspicious of Kazen's story. In fact, by the time they were finished, he was more interested in the Avatar and his crew. Zuko bristled to hear Aang's name fondly spoken of by the same man that was _supposed_ to be helping his nephew capture him. Did Iroh not care about him at all? Had his concern for his safety at the North Pole been a ruse just to win sympathy? Had he meant _anything_ he said to him over the past three years?

These thoughts and many more swam in Zuko's mind throughout the day. They simmered, expanded, and spiraled out of control. By the time the owner dismissed them, Zuko was beyond confused. He didn't know whether to be angry, or sad, or careless. Iroh meant so much to him; why did he mean nothing to Iroh?

 _Because you_ are _nothing. You were born nothing, you live as nothing, and you will die nothing._

Zuko jolted violently. He wanted to curse at his body for shivering. Hearing his horrifying thoughts was horrible enough, but hearing them clearly in his father's voice was a whole other level of terror. He tried to forget it, or at least stop shaking, but the thoughts only echoed louder. Zuko abruptly stormed out of the tea shop before anyone could see him weak.

"Nephew, wait!" Iroh called after him.

Hearing his uncle's voice shouldn't have been so jarring. It took Zuko a second longer than it should have to choke out, "What?"

"Take Kazen to the market with you. We need some fresh fruits."

Zuko nodded, still refusing to look at Iroh. He waited for Kazen to catch up with him before he took off again. He could feel them staring at him, but said nothing about it. In fact, he was silent the whole way to the market, only speaking when he asked for a few apples. He paid the merchant, and they were on their way again. Still, Zuko said nothing, and still, Kazen stared at him. Apparently, the silence became too much to bear.

"Okay, what's going on with you?" Kazen blurted out. "You're never this quiet. Usually, you've got something to say about me by now."

"What do you want me to say? The sky is beautiful?"

"Only if it's true."

Zuko snorted. "The sky is hideous here."

"Of course you would say something like that."

"What? It's true! The sky back home was much brighter! And you could actually see the sunrise," Zuko said bitterly. "These stupid walls drive me crazy. Don't you miss home?"

To his great surprise, the color left Kazen's face in a flash. Their body went rigid. Their eyes flew wide, focusing on something only they could see. Zuko rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. Kazen never let their guard down. What in Agni's name could he have said that would hit them so hard?

"Kazen? Hey," Zuko waved his hand in front of their face," snap out of it! I don't have time for your shenanigans!"

Kazen blinked rapidly. They shook their head, and threw a sorry attempt for a smile on their face. "Sorry, I zoned out there. What were you saying?"

"Nothing," Zuko muttered. _What are they hiding?_

"Oh. Well, I hate to cut this lovely conversation short, but I've got to head to the train station to meet Aang," Kazen said. "I'll see you when I see you."

Zuko watched them go, dread sitting in his stomach like a rock. Kazen had looked on the verge of a mental breakdown, then five seconds later, they acted like all was right with the world. Zuko would have been lying if he'd said he wasn't envious of their pristine acting abilities. But more than anything, he was concerned. Kazen hadn't told him and Iroh anything about their past other than they'd run away from it. What kind of person had they let into their lives? For all they knew, Kazen could be a serial killer!

 _No, that doesn't make any sense. They wouldn't have saved that man if they were anything less than virtuous._ Zuko stifled his wild imagination. _They're probably just a little messed up like anyone else. No one's past is perfect._

Zuko took the apples back to Iroh. His uncle patiently coached him through cooking the meal, which turned out semi-decent, considering Zuko's nonexistent culinary background. For once, he was full, and emotionally somewhere between frustrated and neutral—an equivalent of ecstatic for the ever-angry Prince.

But restlessness got the better of him. As soon as Iroh fell asleep, Zuko's limbs moved of their own accord. The Blue Spirit emerged from the tea shop as he always did, escaped the notice of the Dai Li, and landed unseen in the Upper Ring. But for once, he did not take. He did not even enter another's property. He simply climbed, and waited, and listened.

And he was rewarded.

The Water Tribe warrior left the house at the same time as always. But he didn't go to the same place. With Aang and Kazen training in the backyard, Sokka was out of a practice space. That meant no sword play or boomerang tossing tonight, and more importantly, no revealing shirts. Zuko wished his heart wouldn't fill with disappointment at the loss of such a beautiful sight.

Sokka headed into the streets, humming a quiet tune. Zuko's pulse quickened as he spontaneously followed him. That melody...Zuko had never heard it before, but it was sweet as sugar cane to his ears, and just as powerfully entrancing. He couldn't have stopped himself from following even if he wanted to. His feet carried him on with or without his consent. Sokka's hum beckoned him forward, like a Siren steering his ship toward a rocky shore. Zuko knew he would crash. It was inevitable.

But a part of him wanted to take the fall.

And that part had full control of him now. It pulled him along, tethered to that melodic voice up ahead. He willingly steered his ship toward shore. He'd heard the song. He'd turned the wheel. It was too late to turn back now. So much danger, lurking within such a sweet song, longing to be set free; his ship crashed, and he tumbled overboard, only to be cut and burned by the unforgiving shore. But he walked forth to that song, his pain streaming down his arms, knowing full well what was in store. Red blood, staining the blue sea, washed away with merciless waves. But the waves were only merciless to those trying to avoid them. Zuko gave in, let them wash over his tired, broken body, and they freed him from his pain.

And so Zuko found himself perched in a tree, high above a clearing, as Sokka finished humming his beautiful tune. The spell wore off, and he came to his senses.

 _What am I doing?_ he suddenly thought. _What am I doing! This is a terrible idea! What if he sees me? Stupid, stupid, stupid—!_

Just then, Sokka took out a map, and laid it on the ground. He trained his eyes on it like he was studying for the world's most complicated exam. He poked his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated, and his fingers rhythmically drummed the ground. He muttered the names of places to himself, then turned the map, trying to envision his drawings from another angle. Zuko's heart melted from every little thing Sokka did. He was so unique, and quirky, and creative, and—

 _Stop complimenting him! He's the Avatar's friend!_ Zuko screeched internally.

But no matter how many times he shouted at himself to get down, or leave, or at least stop looking, Zuko couldn't tear his eyes from the Water Tribe warrior. He was an abstract work of art; a free verse piece of poetry; and a song with no refrain. He was attractive in ways Zuko couldn't put into words. He wanted to know his story, learn his every quirk, and study his brilliant smile. He wanted to touch his sun-kissed shoulders, feel his hard-earned muscles, and brush his fingers through his wind-blown hair. Most of all, he wanted to lose himself in those deep blue eyes, until he could map where every tiny island of gray met the ocean of blue within a hurricane of fun, and intelligence, and pride, and love.

 _Oh no._ Zuko let his head slam back into the tree. _Agni, no!_

Why did he have to fall for someone he couldn't have?


	5. Fantastic, I'm Putting My Life In The Hands Of A Twelve-Year-Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you crazy amazing people! I hope you're enjoying this piece of absolute angst so far!
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment! I love criticism and praise alike!

Kazen stepped off the train station just as the sun was setting. The cloud still hung over their mind from earlier. They'd completely panicked when Zuko talked about home. Why had they done that? There was no reason for their mind to relive the moment they blew up their house—and their parents with it—so why had it gone and stabbed them in the back? It was obvious enough for _Zuko_ of all people to notice something was off. He could easily go running to Iroh and tell him that Kazen was lying, and before they knew it, they'd be out on the street again.

Kazen shook their head. _Stop making up lies, mind. Zuko wouldn't do that. And Iroh would ask for the truth before making any major decisions. I'll be fine._

The moment finally passed. Kazen left the train station with their head held high. They paid no mind to the Dai Li even though they stared at them with interest. It didn't diminish Kazen's excitement to train with Aang for the first time. On the contrary, it only increased it. Kazen would be lying if they claimed they didn't care about being special. They'd wanted an important role in the world since they were a little kid. Actually, they envied the Avatar for the longest time. The Avatar had the freedom, more like the responsibility, of traveling the world, learning from several different masters, and living among the people of the four nations. Kazen had wished with all their might that they would one day discover themself to be the very person the world needed most. To receive this task from the lion turtle, although short of the Avatar's responsibility, was nearly everything they'd ever dreamed of.

 _But they can't know you're a firebender,_ Kazen reminded themself. _No fire, only air. Pretend you've never played with fire in your whole life. You're an Earth Kingdom refugee. You lived your life as a nonbender up until now. How would you have acted?_

Kazen knew it wouldn't be hard to pretend. They'd practically been pretending to be a nonbender their whole life because of their father's terrible attitude toward any non-male firebender. This would actually be an improvement; they would be _encouraged_ to bend, and they wouldn't have to act as a perfect little Fire Nation girl for the first time in seventeen years.

_Well, on that depressing note, let's go learn some airbending!_

Kazen stepped up to the Avatar's house and rang the doorbell. Almost instantaneously, the door was whipped aside by a gust of air. Aang sprinted from the back of the house.

"KAZEN'S HERE!" he shouted.

The earthbender girl—Toph, if Kazen remembered correctly—groaned from the other side of the room. "Twinkle Toes, do you really have to shout? Some of us have sensitive ears!"

"Sorry!" Aang exclaimed.

"'Twinkle Toes'?" Kazen questioned.

"Toph calls everyone by a nickname," Sokka explained as he walked by. "She'll probably have one for you by the end of today."

"Ah. I've never had a nickname before. Hopefully it's funny."

"So, are you ready for your first airbending lesson?" Aang asked, clapping his hands together.

"More ready than I've ever been in my life," Kazen breathed.

Aang took them into the backyard, where Sokka, Toph, and the waterbender girl, Katara, gathered to watch. Kazen still had to stare at their faces for a few seconds to recall their names, as the introductions the night before had been a whirlwind of excitable chatter, but their fuzzy memory didn't take away from the standout personalities that made up the Gaang. Kazen had never met a cooler group of kids. They were all younger than them—the Avatar himself was 12, and Sokka was the oldest at 15—but they'd already experienced more battles than some War veterans ever had. Their bending was some of the best in the world, and Kazen couldn't wait to learn from them.

"Alright, so what do you know?" Aang began.

"Uh..." Kazen's mind went blank. "I've only airbended during some pretty intense situations. I haven't tried to do it otherwise because...well, because I wanted to learn how to do it right. I guess I can create a gust of wind?"

Aang laughed a childish, care-free laugh that put Kazen at ease. "That's alright. It takes an open mindset to airbend, so you're already off to a great start. Airbending comes from the mind. It's the element of freedom, which means it's difficult to bend to your will. You have to learn to let your chi flow freely before you can learn to control it."

"Freedom before control. Got it," Kazen said.

"There's a simple exercise you can do to learn freedom," Aang explained. "Toph, if you wouldn't mind?"

Toph stomped her foot, and a giant rock pillar shot into the sky. Aang whirled his glider to open it. He offered a hand to Kazen.

"Hang on tight!"

Kazen did as he said. Just as they got a good grip, Aang took off into the sky, carrying Kazen with him. Their heart leapt into their mouth as the ground fell away. If Aang dropped them, they would certainly die. Kazen bit back a scream and kept their eyes aimed up at the rock pillar. Relief flood through their system the moment their feet touched solid ground. Aang, completely unfazed, landed beside them.

"Alright! That wasn't so bad, right? It's only a hundred feet in the air."

"Yeah, not so bad," Kazen lied through their teeth.

Aang beamed at them, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "I know you barely know me, but do you trust me?"

"I let you fly me up here, so I guess so," Kazen pointed out.

"Perfect! I'm going to push you off this ledge." Aang either didn't hear their horrified squeak or completely ignored it. "You just have to trust yourself. Let your chi flow. Feel the wind around you. Our element surrounds us at all times. If you let it flow through you, it won't let you fall."

"This sounds like a terrible idea, Aang!" Katara called from the ground.

"Don't worry! I've got it all under control!" Aang shouted.

 _Sure. Control._ "And what if I panic and my chi doesn't flow through me?" Kazen squeaked.

"I'll be flying right behind you! If I see you're not doing so well, I'll airbend you to safety. I've got your back!"

 _Fantastic. I'm putting my life in a twelve-year-old's hands._ Kazen rubbed their hands together, praying to whatever spirits would listen that Aang knew what he was doing. "Alright. Whenever you're ready."

Aang placed his hand on Kazen's back. "Three...two...one...go!"

With an powerful shove, Kazen was thrown off the ledge. Their mind went into pure panic mode as they plummeted toward the ground. There was no way the air would catch them—it made no logical sense—they were falling—Aang was too far away—they were going to die! What were they thinking? This was a terrible idea!

Then Kazen felt something shift inside them. What if the wind did catch them? They had always wanted to fly; wasn't falling just the prelude to flight? The wind whipped through their hair—it whistled in their ears—the air was a friend—they could trust it—all they had to do was let go and believe—

And before they knew it, Kazen was hovering eight feet off the ground, a vortex of wind keeping them afloat.

"YES! I knew you could do it!" Aang cheered.

"What the hell," Kazen panted. "Am I doing this?"

"Yeah! That's all you!" Aang reassured them. "Just let it happen!"

Kazen closed their eyes. They felt the chi flowing through their body. It was new, and it was strange, but in a way, it had always been there. Kazen had longed for freedom their whole life; now, it was their whole life. They still had the fire, just beneath the surface, only a click of the fingers away. The self-restraint and discipline that came with it was a permanent part of her. But now, so was the freedom to simply live, be, and _breathe_ that was airbending. It balanced them out. It made Kazen whole.

_This is the part of me that's been missing my whole life._

"Do you want to try it again?" Aang chirped.

"Uh, Aang, I don't think that's—" Katara began.

"Actually, I'd love to," Kazen interrupted, shooting Katara a reassuring smile.

Katara and Sokka stared at them with raised brows. Toph turned her head in their vague direction and shrugged. Aang simply grabbed Kazen and took flight again. This time, Kazen relished in the sensation of open air beneath their feet. It was everything they'd ever wanted; it was everything they'd ever needed. Aang didn't even push them this time—they let out a whoop and jumped. They spread their arms out, letting their chi flow through them as freely as the wind swished through their hair. Kazen understood, then, what airbending was all about: the freedom of thought passing into the physical world. They imagined the wind swirling around them, and it did just that. Kazen laughed as it twirled them around. Their feet gently touched the ground, and the air dissipated into a calm breeze once more. Sokka threw his hands in the air.

"Did you just _jump off a cliff_?" he shrieked.

"Technically, it was a rock pillar," Kazen corrected, "but yeah, I did, and I have to say, it was pretty awesome."

"I like this one," Toph said.

"That can't be a good sign," Katara groaned.

Just then, Aang landed next to Kazen, positively trembling with excitement. "THAT WAS AMAZING! You let the wind take you, exactly like you were supposed to! You're a natural airbender, Kazen!"

A tint of red blossomed across Kazen's cheeks. "Thanks, Aang."

"You're totally ready for the basics! Come on, I've got to show you them all!"

A few hours later, Kazen fell to the ground, absolutely spent. Unlearning discipline and unblocking chi was a hefty task for an airbender, let alone a firebender-turned-airbender. Kazen had done well, though, and they were making good progress on the basics. It helped that Aang was a great teacher. It turns out, learning from a twelve-year-old is much more exciting than learning from a master. Kazen decided that learning from adults was overrated; the Avatar and his friends were much cooler, anyway.

Kazen laughed as Aang dragged them through the grass and onto the back porch. "You're strong for a twelve-year-old."

 _"Almost thirteen!"_ Aang reminded them.

"Aang, quit trying to fool her, you're twelve for another four months, at least," Katara said.

"Three months and three weeks!" Aang corrected her. He glanced around the back porch. "Where'd Sokka go?"

"He left a little after dark. Something about planning the invasion," Toph explained.

"Toph! Not in front of her!" Katara scolded, shooting a furtive glance at Kazen.

Kazen waved her off. "You're fine. I'm on your side. Whatever invasion you're planning on the Fire Nation, I'll gladly help you with." Their heart jolted in their chest. "And I'm—uh—not a girl. I'm nonbinary."

Aang's gray eyes lit up. "Hey, I met a few nonbinary people at the Western Air Temple!"

Kazen was _floored._ Whatever they'd been expecting, it wasn't the positive, eager response that exploded from Aang's lips. It took an embarrassing amount of time for Kazen to splutter out a confused, _"What?"_

"I met people like you at the Western Air Temple!" Aang repeated. "There were lots of different identities at the Air Temples! The nomads openly accepted all identities and orientations. The Temples were renowned for that, actually."

"So...you're okay with me...being this way? Using they/them pronouns?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"

Kazen's mind flashed back to the lion turtle's words: _That bridge is meant to be_ you, _Kazen._ Now they understood what it meant. It all made sense. The Fire Nation hated them. The Air Nation openly accepted them. They had to be the bridge not in spite of their identity, but _because_ of it. They had to take a Nation that had destroyed all freedom of thought and give it back to them with the wisdom of very Nation they sought to destroy.

_I understand now. Everything horrible thing my father did happened to me so that I could understand. I know what I have to do now._

"Thank you," Kazen said gratefully. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

Toph yawned exaggeratively. "Don't get me wrong, this is beautiful and all, but I'm _exhausted._ Can we please go to sleep now?"

"Wow, way to be insensitive, Toph," Katara said icily.

"Hey, I'll use their pronouns, but my priority is sleep."

"She's got her priorities straight," Kazen laughed. They turned smiled at Aang. "Thank you, for everything you've taught me today."

"One more thing before you go!" Aang urged. He curled his right hand into a fist, and flattened out his left, then placed them together and bowed. "This is how the Air Nomads bow to one another."

Kazen copied his motion with a heart swelling with pride. "Thank you, Sifu Aang."

"See you tomorrow, Pupil Kazen!"

Kazen couldn't wipe the giddy smile off their face the whole train ride home.

When Kazen returned to the attic of the tea shop, Zuko was gone, per usual. They sighed exasperatedly. _And to think I held out hope that he would stop this Blue Spirit nonsense._ Kazen noiselessly crept down the stairs and waited outside of the tea shop. They were prepared to sit there until sunrise, but to their enormous surprise, Zuko materialized from the shadows within a half hour.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kazen snapped.

"Why aren't you asleep?" Zuko fired back.

"Every second you're out there is another second closer to getting caught! Have you ever stopped to think what the Dai Li would do to you? What they'd do to _Iroh_?"

"You didn't even factor in yourself," Zuko pointed out. "Why? Planning to leave us at the first hint of trouble? I always figured you'd run off at some point."

"How dare you? I'm not a coward! I wouldn't leave you if the whole of Ba Sing Se turned on us! I just didn't mention myself because—" Kazen suddenly cut themself off as their chest constricted. " _The point is,_ you're being a dumbass in the most heavily guarded city in the entire world, and you need to stop!"

"We shouldn't have to live in squalor while those rich pigs throw money around for fun!"

"I totally agree with you, Zuko, I really do! But if you haven't noticed, _life isn't fair!_ We have to work our asses off just to survive while others inherit the world. How do you think the poorest Fire Nation citizens felt about you?"

Zuko's face went slack. Kazen crossed their arms while they waited for him to respond. Eventually, Zuko shook himself from his contemplative daze, and he angrily retorted, "It's not my fault that I was born into royalty! But it _is_ my fault that I got banished, and that Uncle was forced to tag along with me. He shouldn't have to pay for my mistakes!"

"Wait...this is about _Iroh_?" Kazen clarified. "You're stealing all these things to make his life better?"

"And mine," Zuko added hastily.

"But you care about Iroh. You care that he thinks highly of you, and you care that his life is the best it could be." Zuko could only glare at Kazen. The corner of their mouth tugged upward in a slow, proud smile. "I was right. You do have a heart buried somewhere in that thoracic cavity."

"Just...let it go, Kazen, and stop trying to follow me," Zuko threatened, but Kazen heard the faltering in his voice. The threat was empty.

"Or what? You're going to tie me down? Iroh would figure you out in half a second if you tried that."

Sparks flared from Zuko's nostrils. _"Just leave me alone, okay?"_

Just then, Kazen caught sight of Zuko's bag. They were shocked to see it completely empty. _Wait a second, he wasn't stealing tonight?_ Kazen's mind flew a million miles an hour. _Then what was he—he couldn't possibly—?_

"You didn't steal anything. What were you doing?" Kazen blurted out.

"Nothing!" Zuko insisted.

 _Sokka left the house at sundown. Zuko always leaves shortly after that._ The pieces finally clicked together. Kazen almost gasped out loud. _He was out watching Sokka again! That little romantic!_ Kazen would have laughed if Zuko wasn't standing right in front of them. They couldn't believe he had abandoned his stealing just to look at Sokka for a few hours. He was really falling for this Water Tribe warrior.

But judging by the sheer panic in his expression, Zuko wasn't happy about it—not at all.

Kazen could easily understand why. They'd grown up in the Fire Nation, after all. They knew its strict homophobic and transphobic laws. Zuko, being the Crown Prince, had probably had it drilled into his head since the day he was born that he must find a Queen and have heirs with her. The fact that he discovered his feelings for men at all was a miracle. But now that he had, and he was falling for a boy, especially _that_ boy, he had to be terrified. All those mantras and homophobic comments had to be eating away at him right now. Kazen remembered what it was like when they first discovered their gender identity; it took a three months to stop hating themself, and nine more to come to terms with it. Their romantic orientation was no easier. Zuko had to be hurting, conflicted, and confused, more than he'd ever been in his entire life. He was in the middle of extreme gay panic.

So Kazen kept their mouth shut, and locked the Prince's secret deep within their heart.

"Okay, _your highness_. I believe you. Next time, if you're going to break the law, at least break it all the way and bring back food or something."

Kazen didn't miss the relieved sag to Zuko's shoulders. He expertly forced the sharp tone back into his voice. "Sure, I'll bring you back food—from the dumpsters."

"Man, what does a kid have to do for a little appreciation around here?" Kazen sighed dramatically.

"Leave the Banished Prince alone."

Zuko stormed up the attic steps, leaving Kazen out in the dark. They exhaled slowly.

_And I thought I had problems._

Kazen shook their head and returned to bed, where they dreamed sweet dreams of soaring through the sky.


	6. Chapter 6

Zuko refused to see Sokka for two nights. He went out, stole from the rich, and returned to the tea shop before midnight. Of course, he didn't actually sleep either of those nights, but it wasn't his fault that his brain rebelled against his every wish. He couldn't get Sokka out of his head, even when he was dead tired. He heard his voice in every stranger's laugh; saw his eyes in every customer; felt his hum in every tune. Zuko meditated, practiced firebending, even tried to force himself to sleep, but nothing worked. Ironically, it seemed as though Sokka had taken the Avatar's place in the forefront of his mind.

 _Stupid traitor brain,_ Zuko thought. _You're supposed to be capturing the Avatar, not falling for his friend!_

When it became clear his head was firmly against him, Zuko did the only thing that logically made sense: begin preparations to capture the Avatar. If he couldn't get Sokka off his mind, he might as well do something that allowed him to keep him there. Zuko had grilled Kazen with questions the first night about their time with Aang. Satisfied with the new information, he began to lay a trap that would render Aang's airbending useless. It gave him a headache, trying to think of all the creative ways the Avatar might try to escape, but by the end of the second night, he was proud of the progress he'd made. Zuko walked away hopeful for the first time in years.

_But what would Sokka think?_

That thought tempted Zuko to burn it all to the ground. He almost contemplated it—then he came to his senses. Why would he care what Sokka thinks? He's the enemy! He works with the Avatar! If it would make Sokka unhappy, it would probably result in Zuko's success.

_Is that really a price you're willing to pay?_

Zuko blinked. What was with his conscience tonight? It had never bothered him like this before. Sure, it had flared up a few times during his banishment, usually after some hastily-made poor decisions, but never in his life had his conscience practically begged him to stop. The conflict was reaching a boiling point. The turmoil was so great that when he tried to sleep the third night, he was once again met with restlessness, and this time, he couldn't just lay there until morning. He had to _do_ something.

So he left the tea shop, quietly as possible, and simply walked around the city. His head was fuzzy, and his body ached, but the movement began to loosen the tension in his shoulders. How long had it been since he'd slept properly, anyway? The thought only fleetingly crossed his mind; he didn't care whether he slept or not, anyway. He could sleep when he captured the Avatar. He would be able to rest when his father restored his honor.

"Zuko. Fancy seeing you out in the middle of the night."

Zuko whirled around, almost losing his balance in the process. "Kazen! What is _wrong_ with you? I told you to leave me alone, and the first thing you do is _follow me_?"

"Oh, Zuko, there's a list miles long of all the things wrong with me, and ignoring royalty's orders is near the top," Kazen snickered.

"Not out here!" Zuko hissed, his heart rate spiking at the mention of royalty.

"Fine, let's head to the sewers then."

Zuko slouched after the dual bender. He couldn't help but notice the deep purple bags underneath Kazen's dulled brown eyes. Since when did they have trouble sleeping? He thought Kazen actually took care of themself. Now that he took a good look at them, however, he realized he was sorely mistaken. Kazen's jet-black hair had grown into a dusty, unkempt mess. Their face was burnt from constant exposure to the elements. Even their muscles, which had been defined before, stood out like they lost their last layer of fat protecting them. They clearly hadn't been eating or sleeping enough since they'd arrived in Ba Sing Se, maybe even before that. They'd done a marvelous job of covering it up with sarcasm and boundless energy. So why was it so noticeable now?

"Hey, Prince Charmless, are you going to stare at the wall all night, or are you going to practice firebending with me?" Kazen asked.

Zuko suddenly snapped out of his stupor. "Sorry. Lost in thought."

He automatically took his shirt off. It was a natural precaution to take when firebending. He looked for Kazen to do the same, but they kept their shirt on. Zuko recalled them doing the same thing the last time they practiced together. Rather dumbfounded, he motioned for Kazen to copy him. They shot him a weird look.

"What are you doing with your hands? Is that some technique you came up with to confuse your opponents, or...what?"

"What? No, I'm telling you to take your shirt off," Zuko scoffed. "You shouldn't wear one when firebending."

Kazen noticeably stiffed. _What the heck is that all about?_ "I'll keep it on, thanks. Not everyone likes to show off their muscles."

"It's not about showing off!" Zuko protested. "It's a simple safety precaution."

"Zuko, have you even met me? Personal safety is my _last_ priority."

"What's the big deal? I'm not going to stare at you any more than you've stared at me."

Kazen's face, for the first time since Zuko had known them, went dead serious. The shadows under their eyes deepened. It sent chills down Zuko's spine. _What in Agni's name are they so afraid of?_ As Kazen's hands slowly, almost forcibly, moved to their shirt, Zuko was struck by a thought. _What if this is what they've been hiding?_

"You promise that you won't stare?" Kazen said hoarsely. The sudden quiet to their voice was startling.

"I...promise," Zuko said, not entirely sure if he would be able to hold himself to that promise.

Kazen let out a painful breath, then in one fluid motion, whipped the fabric above their head and threw it to the side. Zuko's lips parted in shock. Kazen had their surgical scars on their chest, something that didn't surprise him in the slightest. But their back was another story entirely. A single pair of scars crisscrossed Kazen's back in angry, permanently red lines. In the dim lighting, they appeared a deep crimson, the color of blood, as if the wounds had been freshly reopened. They weren't just any scars, either: Zuko recognized them as burns. Deep burns. Burns that had been issued again, and again, and again, until the heat corrupted the tissue layers for good. He instinctively touched his own scar, which had begun to pain him.

"You said you wouldn't stare," Kazen suddenly said.

Zuko jumped. He immediately averted his gaze. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"

"It's...okay." Kazen met his eyes with their own. Zuko had never seen so many conflicting emotions swimming in a single pair of irises. Their brown depths seemed to deepen, giving way to a kind of hurt Zuko was horrified to admit he empathized with. Kazen seemed to see right through him as they murmured, "You're not the only one who's been burned by the Nation we love."

If the walls of Ba Sing Se collapsed over Zuko in that moment, it wouldn't have come even close to comparing with how hard that statement hit him. It felt like his whole world was imploding, like the ground fell from under his feet, like the ocean had swallowed him up and all he could do was drown. The Fire Nation—the one place he called home, the only place on Earth that he wanted to go—was the very place that wanted him gone. Zuko felt safe when he thought of the Fire Nation, but wasn't he wrong to do so, when he would be hunted down just for stepping foot on their shores? The Fire Nation had raised him, taken care of him, and given him a purpose in life. But didn't it take just as much as it had given? It had taken his honor, his mother, and if he was being perfectly honest, his freedom.

 _No. The Fire Nation is my home,_ Zuko thought angrily. _I will always call it home. As soon as I capture the Avatar, it will welcome with open arms, and I can get back to living my life._

_But if it had hurt someone as innocent as Kazen, why would it not hurt me again?_

_No, that was Kazen's father, not the Fire Nation. There's a difference._

_But is there a difference, really? Are the people who defend the Fire Nation the ones who represent it?_

_No, the Fire Nation is different than its generals. It is a wise Nation full of benevolent leaders that must share their knowledge with the world. Its leaders represent the values of the Nation._

_But the Fire Lord burned his own son._

_He was just trying to to me a lesson. I needed that to learn. My father is a great man. He will restore my honor when I earn it back. I don't deserve it yet._

_But haven't I learned enough? Was what I said worthy of this punishment?_

"Zuko? Are you alright?"

Zuko snapped back into reality. Kazen was staring at him like they'd just set off a bomb. Zuko realized there was sweat dripping down his forehead, and his lungs were hyperventilating. He shook his head to clear the vortex of thoughts that had consumed him and put on his most reassuring frown.

"I'm fine. Do you want to get to firebending or not?"

Kazen gave him a strange look, then nodded. Zuko poured himself into firebending. He went through the basics with Kazen once more, then bumped it up to the advanced movements. For once, his mind granted him a brief reprieve from thinking about Sokka, or the Fire Nation, or his father, or even Iroh. For two beautiful hours, it was just Kazen, him, and his chi, working through the movements like practiced dancers. His fire burned bright, and his feet flew gracefully. His soul emptied itself of its turmoil until there was nothing left but exhaustion. Zuko silently agreed with Kazen to end with recentering his chi.

"Remember, there's no power, no anger, no aggression," Kazen said. "It's all about breathing and being one with your inner fire."

Zuko closed his eyes and exhaled. His fire easily filtered to the surface, but his anger gone, and his strength drained, he was more at peace than he'd been in months. He let his tiny flame travel up his arm, across his abdomen, down his leg, and back up again, until it finally slowed to a stop over his heart. It hovered there, over his bare chest, the warmth relaxing his racing heart. It flickered and danced, a little light amid oppressive darkness, but it did not give in. It did not go out. Zuko simply existed, in that beautiful, small moment in his life, where nothing mattered except to live, to feel, and to breathe.

When he finally opened his eyes, he noticed Kazen standing closer to him than they'd dared to the whole session. Their flame was brighter than his, almost white. With their eyes closed, and the fire flickering beneath their face, they appeared as a spirit, a guardian of weary travelers and lost souls alike, if only to guide them to their light. It was unlike any other firebending that Zuko had ever seen: gentle, touching, and emotional, yet strong, and passionate, and unbreakable, in remarkable ways he couldn't begin to describe. When Kazen finally opened their eyes, Zuko met their steely gaze.

"Why do you hold back when you know you could be more powerful?" he whispered.

Kazen searched his eyes. "Why don't you?"

Zuko had no answer. Instead, his body chose that moment to finally give out. His chi was exhausted, his muscles were finished, and his brain was all but on the verge of shutting down. Zuko stumbled into the wall, where he fell to his knees. Kazen was by his side in a heartbeat. To his surprise, they picked him up, and for some inexplicable reason, Zuko didn't resist. He couldn't remember the last time someone had carried him like this. Even his mother had never been this strong. But Kazen was, in every way, and they carried him through the sewers without a hint of protest.

Zuko wanted to curse out loud, to walk himself back, or even to say something sarcastic that would make this moment any less intimate. But he had nothing. His body was too tired to listen to his mind. He dozed in and out of sleep all the way back to the tea shop. He found his face buried in Kazen's warm side each time he woke up. It was embarrassing and comfortable and painful all at once. When was the last time he'd let another person fleetingly touch him, let alone for this prolonged time? He hadn't even let Iroh _hug_ him in the last three years. It was so weird, to enjoy human contact that he had taught himself to hate, and with _Kazen_ , of all people.

Yet when they gently set him in his bed, and threw the softest blanket over his exhausted form, Zuko realized he wasn't uncomfortable at all, and that it was actually... _nice_ , having someone around like them. Someone who would follow him into the dangers of night, who would keep Iroh from discovering his habits, who would let him vent, lash out, firebend, and be an overall ungrateful, angry human being with only a light-hearted sarcastic comment as a repercussion.

Someone like Kazen.

Someone like a friend.

Zuko slept in until _noon_ the next day. He couldn't believe the sunrise didn't wake him. At first, he was pissed at Kazen for letting him sleep so long, but then he remembered the night before, and shame bashed the anger aside. Why had he let himself get so close to Kazen? Why had he let them get anywhere _near_ him, let alone carry him to the tea shop? He'd been acting like a helpless child! He was the Prince of the Fire Nation! He should be able to take care of himself!

But the shame was overshadowed by the relief of a good night's sleep. He had actually slept through the night, and to his surprise, he had some energy in his sore muscles. So maybe he hadn't made a mistake. It was just one slip-up, right? Kazen wouldn't hold that over his head, would they?

"Rise and shine, nephew."

Zuko turned to see Iroh standing at the top of the stairs, a platter of breakfast in hand. He handed it to Zuko, who took it with some confusion. Wasn't Iroh angry with him for skipping half the work day? They needed every copper piece they could get just to pay for their food; the prices had risen again. But Iroh didn't seem angry at all. In fact, he seemed rather jovial, humming pleasantly to himself as he opened the shutters on their single window.

"I made you your favorite," Iroh remarked. "Pig-sheep sausage and rooster-chicken eggs, no tea."

"...Thank you," Zuko said slowly. "Aren't you supposed to be in the shop?"

"I figured you would be hungry after your long sleep. You didn't finish your dinner yesterday."

Zuko blinked. Why was Iroh being so kind? All he'd ever done to that poor man was antagonize and burden him with his outbursts. No one showed this much kindness without an underlying motive; his time in the palace had taught him that. Zuko searched for the deception he was sure was in play, but found none. He ate his sausage in a contemplative silence.

"I couldn't help but notice the nice things that have been showing up lately," Iroh said, breaking the silence. "The mattress was a nice change, and the shoes are doing wonders for my aching feet."

Zuko's chest tightened. So that's what his uncle wanted: more nice things. It looked like he would be putting in more Blue Spirit hours that evening. He was glad he'd gotten some sleep last night, because he wouldn't be getting any tonight.

"I have asked myself many times where this things have come from," Iroh continued. "We have many kind neighbors, and the regulars of the tea shop have taken a liking to me. But they could not possibly have the money to buy such kind gifts for us."

"Maybe some are more well-off than they let on," Zuko commented.

"Maybe. But I suspect another source. Whispers of the Blue Spirit in Ba Sing Se have reached the tea shop from the local merchants. They say he's been stealing from the Upper Ring, only small things, but stealing nonetheless. I believe these items would fetch just enough at the market to buy, say...a mattress, or a nice pair of shoes."

Zuko's chest tightened, but he kept his expression neutral and unassuming. "It might be a coincidence, Uncle."

"It would naïve to believe in such a coincidence, Prince Zuko, and you are not one for naivety."

Upon hearing his title, Zuko glanced up to see his uncle gazing at him with a hard expression. He knew. Zuko clenched his jaw. "What do you want from me, Uncle?"

"Stealing from the rich, however undeserving they are, is still wrong, Prince Zuko. One cannot right a wrong by wronging the unrighteous. The only way to improve a tough situation is through hard work, patience, and unwavering kindness. People will not help a thief, but they will help a good friend."

"Your life is better because of the Blue Spirit," Zuko snapped. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

Iroh let out a long sigh. He turned away from the sunlight, and for a moment, he looked old. Shadows appeared beneath smoldering eyes that had seen too much, and wrinkles creased a face that had been wearied by long years of war. Then the moment passed, and Iroh stood before him, calm and strong as he had always been.

"Some people prefer a simple life of prosperity. I do not need expensive things to improve my life. Happiness can only be achieved through work, kindness, and love. I would sleep much better at night knowing I earned the few special things that I have."

That last comment had been aimed directly at Zuko, and he knew it. He frowned confrontationally at his uncle. "What are you going to do? Stop me? You can't!"

"You are right. I cannot stop you from making your own choices," Iroh stated, catching Zuko off guard. "I can only hope that when you do go out again tonight, you make a choice that you are proud of."

With that, Iroh returned to the tea shop, leaving Zuko alone in the attic. So his uncle knew the whole time that he'd been out stealing, yet he hadn't stopped him? Zuko had seen Iroh in action enough to know what he was capable of. He could certainly stop him if he wanted to. But he chose to let Zuko make his own decisions instead. What kind of game was he playing? Zuko pressed his hands into his eyes, driving away the dull ache in his head. He thought his uncle would be _happy_ to receive all this gifts, but he seemed almost mad about them. Zuko couldn't fathom why. Iroh was a general! Didn't he want the pampered life he deserved? He'd been forced to follow his angry nephew across the world, after all. Zuko racked his brain for the reasoning behind his uncle's advice. Maybe Iroh was trying to guilt Zuko into getting him more gifts? But then why would he advise him to make a good choice?

 _Every time I think I understand him, he confuses me even more!_ Zuko thought angrily.

He got dressed and went down in to the tea shop. Throughout the day, Zuko's anger rose and fell in time with his swirling thoughts. It took all his willpower not to snap at the customers—and even then, his responses were clipped. He just wanted Iroh to be straightforward with him. After all this time, the man still talked in riddles, and Zuko felt like he was spinning in circles trying to understand him. Was Iroh really supporting him, or was he only here because he had to be?

_Why would anyone support you? All you ever do is push people away!_

Zuko had to restrain himself from chucking a teapot at the wall. His conscience was back and stronger than ever. Why was it hurting him now, after all these years of questionable actions and deeds? What had triggered such a change? Just when he needed his conscience to go away the most, it showed up to bury him in a mountain of guilt. Zuko was suffocating beneath that mountain right now. He needed to get out of his head, and fast.

"I'm done for the day," Zuko announced to the owner.

"Hmph. Fine," the little man relented. "But you're working double tomorrow!"

"Yes sir," Zuko muttered bitterly as he stomped up the stairs.

He tore off his uniform and changed into his usual black attire. The Blue Spirit mask stowed safely in his bag, and his dao swords securely sheathed on his back, he escaped out the rear of the tea shop. Not a soul stirred in the back alley aside from a few rat-possums digging in the dumpsters. Zuko waited a few moments to ensure he was alone, then pulled the Blue Spirit mask over his scarred face. The sun had dipped below the walls now, lengthening the shadows of the many buildings of Ba Sing Se. Zuko easily remained hidden in the dim lighting. By the time he reached the Upper Ring, night had fallen, and he was one with the darkness.

Zuko raced up and down the richly paved streets. He stole more useless tokens than he ever had before. But an equal amount of guilt threatened to crush him. His uncle's words continuously repeated in his mind: _make a choice that you are proud of._ Zuko pushed the feeling down, but it only grew stronger in his denial. Eventually, it threatened to crush him.

 _I can't believe I'm doing this,_ Zuko thought bitterly.

He picked his way through the back alleys until he came across the market where middle-class merchants sold their wares during the day. He tossed the bag full of valuables into the baker's stand an abruptly left before he could regret his decision.

_I hope you're happy, Uncle._

Zuko took his time walking back through the streets. There were less people out than usual, which meant less effort put into evading their gazes. He wasn't tired yet, not by a long shot, which meant his brain had more capacity to think—and in Zuko's case, that was a devastating problem, because his brain turned right back to the subject he'd been avoiding all day.

 _STOP THINKING ABOUT SOKKA!_ Zuko ordered himself.

But his brain most definitely did not comply. In fact, he was engulfed so deeply in his thoughts that his feet naturally carried him to their source. Zuko didn't snap out of it until it was far too late. His eyes widened as he passed the Avatar's house.

_No, no, no, not again—!_

It was too late. He was there, and so was the Water Tribe warrior.

As soon as Zuko's eyes caught sight of him, he was done for. He was rooted to the spot. He watched with rapt attention as Sokka practiced his swordplay. He hadn't gotten any better since the last time Zuko saw him. Sokka's movements were jerky, uncoordinated, and from the looks of it, entirely self-taught. He put in all the effort of a trained soldier, though. Zuko admired his confidence and willingness to fight, even though he had no bending, no training, and no guidance of any kind. The warrior relied on his creativity, and so far, it had proven more effective than any amount of training Zuko had received.

Still, it physically pained the Prince to see Sokka flailing about with his sword. He couldn't watch any longer. He had to do _something_ to let Sokka know he was doing it all wrong. Zuko searched his mind for ideas. Then he caught sight of the thick tree covering on one side of the backyard, and it gave him an idea. He was beneath their swaying canopies in less than a minute.

 _No, do NOT climb those trees, don't you dare climb those trees—!_ Zuko internally facepalmed as he reached the highest branches. _You climbed the trees! You dumbass! THIS ISN'T GOING TO TURN OUT HOW YOU WANT IT TO!_

But Zuko's body didn't comply with his mind. Taking out the notepad and charcoal that had become a permanent addition to his pocket, he wrote a short message to Sokka: _You're doing it wrong. Your stance needs to be wider. And the power comes from your legs._ Then, after a long moment of hesitation, and an internal screaming match, Zuko fatally opened his hand and let the note drop to the ground. Sokka noticed it after a few seconds. He curiously picked it up and read the contents, then glanced up at the trees. Zuko's heart seized in his chest.

"Excuse me, but I'm a practiced warrior!" Sokka declared. "Who do you think you are?"

 _Only the guy that single-handedly stole the Avatar from Zhou,_ Zuko thought with amusement. _It's not like I've trained with a master swordsman or anything._ He scribbled a short sentence that more or less declared his mastery of swordplay and sent it down to Sokka, who snatched it out of the air and read it with an offended scoff.

"So you think you're better than me, don't you?" Sokka challenged. "Well, I'll show you!"

He launched into a series of movements that were so horribly off-balance Zuko almost laughed out loud. He had to physically cover his mouth when Sokka attempted to do a turning strike and tumbled head-over-heels into the grass. Sokka leapt to his feet, face reddening considerably. The blush deepened when Zuko sent down a note encouraging him to follow his suggestions.

"Okay, _fine_ , I'll try it your way, Ghost Guy," Sokka groaned.

The Water Tribe warrior took on an athletic stance, but his time, he widened his feet a little past his shoulders. When he struck out with his sword, he powered off his legs instead of throwing his arms around. Sokka blinked several times in response to his newfound power. He awkwardly fidgeted with his wolftail, a blush rising to his cheeks. Zuko's heart flutter in his chest. Why did Sokka have to be so damn cute?

"I guess your way worked better," he admitted. "Got any other tips?'

Zuko hurriedly drew a series of movements for a basic overhead strike and tossed it down to Sokka. The Water Tribe warrior's face lit up, causing Zuko to forget how to breathe. Sokka immediately went through the steps, and though shaky at first, he improved exponentially by the fifth try. Zuko told him so with a short note. Sokka read it, then shot a goofy grin up at the trees. Zuko caught himself smiling back and opted for a frown instead.

For a whole hour, the warrior and the Blue Spirit continued this unorthodox version of sword training. Zuko detailed five basic movements over the course of the hour, and Sokka attended to details with a warrior's pride. Every time Zuko would compliment his form, Sokka's face would burn bright red. Zuko hated the way his face became equally hot under the Blue Spirit mask. It took all his concentration to keep himself from smiling. He shouldn't be here in the first place. He shouldn't be enjoying this. But he was, and it was driving him crazy.

Eventually, Sokka tired out. He sheathed his sword for the night and wandered to the edge of the trees, clearly searching for the hidden figure in the canopy. Zuko thanked his lucky stars that he climbed a well-covered tree.

"Thanks for helping me out," Sokka said. "You're a great teacher, even if you are a little mysterious. Can I at least know your name?"

Zuko panicked. He couldn't reveal his name. Sokka would know right away. And if he saw him in the Blue Spirit mask, he would know exactly who he was. Aang had to have told them the story of his rescue-theft from the Blue Spirit by now. So Zuko did the only logical thing that popped into his brain: he scribbled down a note congratulating Sokka on his great form, tossed it in the other direction, and fled for his life. Sokka searched the completely wrong copse of trees. Right as Zuko was about to leave the forest, he risked a glance over his shoulder. Sokka's slumped shoulders and downcast eyes pierced his heart. It grew heavy as he turned and ran toward the train station.

 _Why are you upset? You shouldn't have been there in the first place, dumbass!_ Zuko cursed. _You're helping the ENEMY! This is traitorous in the highest degree! If you weren't banished already, you'd be banished now! What were you even thinking?_

Zuko truly didn't know what he was thinking. But he definitely knew what he was feeling, and it was pain. Pure, raw, emotional pain. He couldn't get Sokka's disappointed expression out of his head, even when he returned to the tea shop in the Lower Ring. It shouldn't have hurt him so much. It logically made no sense. He had no connection to the Water Tribe warrior. Sokka was a friend of the Avatar. He was an enemy of the Fire Nation.

But so was the Blue Spirit.

Zuko pressed his pillow over his throbbing head. His head swirled with so many conflicting thoughts and feelings that it physically pained him. Sokka's smile lightened his heart, and his frown wounded him. The warrior had a powerful hold on him that Zuko couldn't shake off. It was growing with each and every day. Soon, Zuko wouldn't be able to ignore him. Sokka was a magnet, and Zuko couldn't escape his attraction.

He wanted to scream into his pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the internal struggle deepens...
> 
> Drop a comment below to tell me what you think, rant about Zuko being Zuko, etc!


	7. You're Wrong

Kazen opened their eyes to fire. They sprang to their feet, for a panicked moment thinking the tea shop was on fire, but their bed was missing. In fact, everything from the attic was missing. They were standing beside an endless wall of fire, surrounded by pitch black on all sides.

 _Oh. I'm dreaming,_ they realized.

Kazen reached out to touch the flame. They jumped backward as it turned to a sinister blue shade. Its heat increased exponentially. Kazen feared it would burn them, but just as they thought their skin would peel off, the flame parted, just wide enough that they could get through. Kazen curiously stepped through the flame, wondering what kind of trick their subconscious was playing on them. Normally, their dreams consisted of memories, or useless snatches of the future that later induced deja-vu. This? This wasn't real. This was closer to a vision.

"Kazen."

They whipped around. Then their mouth dropped open. Standing before them was a girl, about their age, and nearly equal in stature. The girl wore Fire Nation clothing from head to toe. Kazen would have recognized her as a firebender before they even saw her close the gap in the wall of fire; they could feel the power radiating from her. She was stunning, too: dark complexion, lightly tanned skin, cherry red lips. If Kazen was attracted to looks, they definitely would have been attracted to her. But that wasn't what had their heart racing. It was the way the girl gazed into their eyes, as if she was looking at her last hope on Earth.

"I need you, Kazen," the girl said.

"Why? You don't even know me," Kazen pointed out.

"I will know you, and you will know me."

"Okay, this is messed up," Kazen muttered. "Brain, you can wake me up anytime now!"

"I will not understand at first," the girl continued. "I may even try to kill you. But I need you, and I trust that you will know what to do when the time comes."

"Hold up, I didn't agree to _any_ of this! You'll try to _kill_ me? What do you need me for, target practice? Your flame is precise enough! You don't need to prove it on my corpse!"

"I need you, Kazen," the girl repeated. _"I need you."_

Kazen gazed into those serious, pained eyes, only to see their own reflected back at them. Their heart leapt in their mouth. This dream was getting way too creepy. They needed to get out of here. But Kazen couldn't wake up. Instead, their eyes were glued to the girl as she stepped closer. The flames died down until they disappeared altogether. The only light left was a tiny blue flame in the palm of the girl's hand, so deep and mysterious that it looked like a fragment of the ocean. Kazen watched it dance as the girl fixed her with a sad stare.

"You have hurt, and you have lost," she said. "But do not give up on love."

Then Kazen snapped awake, and the girl was gone.

The sunrise lit up the sky in the distance. Iroh's quiet footsteps were already pacing the first floor of the tea shop as he prepared for the day. The peace of dawn starkly contrasted the fear and confusion of their dream. Kazen swiped a hand across their forehead, and it came away with beads of sweat. That dream had been all too real for the very surreal setting. The girl was, in all likelihood, a real person. But Kazen had never had premonitions of the future. They were no prophet. So it was highly likely the dream had been a result of their imagination as well.

_It was just a dream. That girl doesn't exist._

But Kazen had a horrible feeling that she did.

At that moment, Zuko stirred in his bed. He arose with a foul expression on his exhausted face. He grumbled something about hating sleep and fell back onto the blankets. Kazen seized the welcome distraction.

"I'm assuming last night went well, then?" they prompted.

"Leave me alone," Zuko mumbled into his pillow.

"What was that? Don't leave you alone? You got it, Spirit Boy."

Zuko chucked his pillow at them. "For once in your life, just leave me alone!"

"Sorry, no can do. You have to explain to me why you came back before dawn for once. Did the Dai Li chase you down? Did you finally make a good decision, or did you pull a typical Zuko and do something so stupid you had to run? I'm betting on the latter."

"Shut up."

"Zuko, you're killing me with the suspense." Kazen glanced over his shoulder and noted the missing bag. "You leave as the Blue Spirit, but return without your loot. Did someone steal it from you?"

"No one stole anything! I'm not that stupid!" Zuko growled.

"So you gave it away then."

He begrudgingly sat up to shoot Kazen a glare. "I told you to leave me alone. The least you could do is stop talking to me."

"Not gonna happen." Kazen sat on the floor before Zuko, folding their legs into a comfortable crisscrossed position. "Come on, tell me what happened! You know I won't squeal!"

"No."

Kazen caught sight of the substantially smaller notepad by his uniform. An idea began to formulate in their head. "Then the least you could do is tell me who you were passing notes with last night."

Zuko's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Kazen laughed as he hastily kicked his uniform over the paper. "No one!"

"Denial, denial, _denial_!" Kazen teased. "Come on, who was it? You can tell me!"

Zuko looked like he was about to retort, then he clamped his jaw shut. He dropped his head in defeat and wouldn't meet Kazen's eyes as he admitted, "I walked by the Avatar's house again."

 _So he was passing notes with Sokka? How did he even manage it?_ As Kazen filed the information away for later, they kept the the surprise in their face, but other than that, they refused to let on that they knew what was going on between Zuko and Sokka. They didn't know the whole truth, anyway; Kazen only saw Zuko _after_ his encounters. But it was enough to know that Zuko was falling head-over-heels for the Water Tribe boy, and Kazen didn't want to disrupt the fragile progress he'd made toward accepting that.

"So you're still thinking about him," Kazen remarked. "Need any help with that?"

"Why would I need help with Sokka? I'm not thinking about him!" Zuko snapped.

"I was talking about the Avatar, you idiot," Kazen said. They didn't miss Zuko's look of pure panic, but they pretended not to see it. "Either way, if you're passing notes to one of the Gaang, you could have the Dai Li on our trail. You should be more careful."

"I am careful! They don't know who I am!" Zuko crossed his arms. "Since you're lacking in almost _all_ important information, I'm gathering it my way." Kazen rolled their eyes. Obviously, they couldn't let the Avatar get captured because of their airbending training, so they'd been playing dumb with Zuko. How had he not figured that out by now? "They think I'm a master swordsman that's giving Sokka instruction."

Kazen was mildly surprised. "Huh. I never saw you as the espionage type, but I should have known, with that black costume and all."

"It's not a costume," Zuko said bitterly.

"Whatever. The point remains that you're being reckless. There's at least a thousand different ways you could gather information on the Avatar, and you chose the only one that involves _improving_ their ability to escape. Why on Earth would you help an enemy?"

They'd caught him. Zuko's eyes flew wide. He opened his mouth to protest, but suddenly lost the ability to speak. Kazen would have smirked if Zuko had been clued into their knowledge. Instead, they kept their expression lifted and quizzical, as if there wasn't an entire gay crisis going on in Zuko's head. Kazen watched with hopeful anticipation. Maybe Zuko would finally figure out that he was wrong and stop going after the Avatar. Would this be the day he made an actual good decision?

No. Of course not.

"That's a brilliant question, Kazen. Why am I helping the enemy?" Zuko clenched his hands into fists. "I should be working on my trap for the Avatar, not giving his friend more ways to break him out!" Steam poured from his nostrils. "What was I thinking? This was the stupidest idea I've had in my entire life! _Stupid_!" Zuko glanced at Kazen, his golden eyes darkening to a fiery orange. "Thank you for reminding me what I was doing, Kazen. I need to get back to work."

With that, Zuko stormed out of the tea shop. The moment he left, Kazen facepalmed so hard it left a red mark on their forehead. That had totally backfired in their face! What were they thinking? Of course the mention of the Avatar would provoke Zuko into his old state! They should have never brought up the matter in the first place!

"When will I learn to quit while I'm ahead?" Kazen groaned.

"With a spirit as strong as yours, I would be surprised if you managed that at all."

Kazen whirled around in a panic. Iroh stood on the landing, a small twinkle in his wise eyes. Clearly, he'd heard what they said. Kazen quickly threw a convincing smile on their face.

"Iroh! I—uh—didn't see you standing there. I'll be down and in a minute."

"No need," Iroh insisted. "Today is our day off. I was hoping you'd go to the market with me instead."

"Oh. Of course! I'll just—be right out."

Kazen threw on a different shirt, then joined Iroh outside the tea shop. They sauntered through the streets of the Lower Ring, enjoying the light hustle and bustle of morning. The bakery already smelled of fresh bread; the fruit stands shed their coat of morning dew; and the wood carvers were already whittling their way through the next masterpiece. Iroh stopped at many of these stands. The merchants chatted jovially with him, even those who initially seemed in a bad mood. Kazen patiently stood by as Iroh struck up intriguing conversations about the most trivial and daily matters. In fact, Kazen didn't need much patience to do this; they actually enjoyed people-watching, especially when it came to Iroh. He was the most interesting person they'd ever met. He talked to everyone as his equal despite being a formerly high-ranking military general, a powerful firebender, and a Fire Nation royal. Not to mention, he was an expert pai sho player.

"Kazen, don't you think this would make a great decoration for our wall?" Iroh asked.

He held up a painting of a tree basking the light of the setting sun. Some of the leaves were falling, as if the moment had been capture just as a light breeze whistled through the branches. It was lovingly done, and so realistic it might as well have been a real tree. The author had really put their passionate touch on this piece. Each brushstroke, texture, and blend had been expertly crafted. Kazen eagerly nodded at Iroh.

"Absolutely. We should get it."

A few minutes later, Kazen found themself holding the painting tight to their chest, a protective wrap around the beautiful piece of artistry. It was nearly noon now, so Iroh pointed out a shop where they could sit down for a relaxing lunch and cup of tea. Kazen's aching feet thanked them as they sank into a surprisingly comfy chair, and after the first sip of tea, their insides felt comfortably warm.

"That painting reminds me of Lu Ten," Iroh said wistfully, "my son."

Kazen nearly spit their tea out. "Your— _what_? You have a son?"

"Had," Iroh corrected sadly. "He passed during the siege on this very city, six years ago."

Kazen's heart plummeted. "I—I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be insensitive. I didn't know."

"It is not your fault. There are many things you do not know about the Fire Nation." The creases in Iroh's forehead deepened, revealing the weariness beneath his strong frame. Kazen had never seen him look so old. A shadow passed over his face as he continued, "There have been too many lives claimed by its lies."

Kazen had a feeling he wasn't just talking about the fallen warriors. Too many innocent souls had been swept up by the hysteria of enforced norms and carried away from the lives they were meant to lead. Kazen counted themself extremely lucky; if they hadn't gotten away when they did, they would have fallen victim to the misogynistic family values of the upper class. Thousands weren't so lucky. Heck, Prince Zuko had been hurt by those values, hundreds of miles from the Fire Nation shore, and this was _after_ his father had unjustly burned a lesson into his face.

"I learned of these lies too late," Iroh admitted. "I am ashamed to say that the death of my son was the cause of my realization. Lu Ten had to give his life so that I could learn the truth. I wish every day that our roles had been reversed, or that I could have come to my senses earlier."

If it was possible for a soul to writhe in agony, Kazen's did in that moment. Seeing the pure sadness on Iroh's face was enough to physically pain them. They were overwhelmed with a sense of regret that wasn't even theirs, but was so powerful it brought all around it to their knees. Kazen wondered how in _Agni's name_ Iroh went on living with this tsunami of pain roiling inside his heart on a daily basis.

"But sorrow has a funny way of guiding us to love," Iroh said. "Not long after the death of my son, Prince Zuko's mother disappeared. Fire Lord Azulon passed away, paving the way for Fire Lord Ozai to ascend to the throne. Prince Zuko was reeling from the loss of his mother, and though he still had his sister and father, they could not give him the love he needed. I stepped into his life when he needed me most. And three years later, when he was banished, I accompanied him in his exile."

"He's become a son to you," Kazen realized.

Iroh smiled fondly. "Yes, he has. My nephew may be banished from the Fire Nation, but he is more honorable now than he has ever been, and I could not be prouder of the person he has become."

Kazen blinked slowly, absorbing all this new information. "Why are you telling me this? You've already been so kind and accommodating to me. You don't owe me your life stories."

"I am telling you this because you are a good friend, Kazen," Iroh explained. He eyed Kazen with a knowing look. "And I'm not so certain your past is so different from ours."

Kazen instinctively pulled their arms to their chest. "That may be so."

"If you think I intend to force you into explaining your past, you are mistaken," Iroh said quickly. "Your past is your business. It is your decision to tell your story. I only say this out of experience, and as a friend."

Kazen beamed gratefully at him. "Thank you, Iroh."

He simply gave them his caring, compassionate old smile.

For the rest of the day, Kazen remained with Iroh. They attended a pop-up music performance, conversed with vendors of exotic tea leaves, and watched an earthbending class from afar. Iroh treated every person he came across with the utmost respect and dignity. Kazen never would have guessed he was a Fire Nation general if they didn't know him. They envied his ability to get along with even the most heartless and intolerable people in Ba Sing Se. Kazen would have run out of patience in the first two seconds of someone insulting them; they would have fought them in five. But Iroh took every insult in stride and let it roll over him like an insignificant gust of wind. Kazen vowed to pay closer attention to this curious man and hopefully learn his compassionate ways.

When they returned to the tea shop, Iroh offered to teach Kazen the basics of teamaking, an offer which Kazen gladly accepted. They listened with rapt attention as he went over the common types of tea and how to steep their leaves properly. The names and temperatures quickly jumbled themselves up in Kazen's brain, but they began to organize the information the longer Iroh talked. They tried their hand at teamaking for the first time, and it turned out, they weren't bad at it. Iroh had to jump in and save them a few times, but other than that, they had a pretty good sense for the process. Kazen sipped their green tea with a hint of pride.

"A tad bitter, but very good for your first try," Iroh remarked, finishing his first cup. Kazen's heart skipped with glee when he poured himself a second cup. "With a little practice, you would become a great teamaker."

"Thank you, Iroh. That means a lot coming from you," Kazen said gratefully.

Iroh glanced out the window. He squinted his eyes against the harsh setting sun. "I fear that my nephew is not planning to return tonight. It would mean a great deal if you would accompany him, Kazen, and ensure he does not wander alone."

"That's probably a good idea. I'll see you tonight—or tomorrow morning. Whichever it happens to be."

"Safe wandering, Kazen."

It took approximately five minutes for Kazen to locate Zuko. They caught him firebending in their sewer hideout again. He looked angry—actually, to be perfectly accurate, pissed off about something he did to himself. Kazen released a jet of flame to get Zuko's attention.

"What do you want, Kazen?" Zuko asked bitterly, not bothering to look at them.

"Wow. I was coming to check on you, but clearly you want to be left alone."

"Then what are you waiting for? Leave. I'm busy."

"Uh-huh. Looks that way." Kazen purposely walked in front of Zuko, blocking his movement. They smirked condescendingly at the fire flaring from his nostrils. "You appear to be in a good mood for once. How about we take a walk above ground? You know, while the sun is still out, so you don't spend the whole day sitting in the dark and pouting?"

"I'm not pouting!" Zuko protested. "And what makes you think I'd want to go for a walk?"

"Nothing, actually," Kazen admitted. Zuko's eyes narrowed in suspicion. Kazen shrugged innocently. "It was just an offer. You clearly worked your butt off all day. I figured you could take a break for two seconds before you dive back into whatever's got you in a frenzy."

"I have more work to do," Zuko said, shooting off another volley of fire.

"What's so important that you can't leave it until tomorrow?"

"My honor hinges on the Avatar's capture!" Zuko exploded. He whipped around to point at Kazen, his usually golden eyes burning a livid orange. "Stop trying to distract me from my mission! I know you're preventing me from capturing him!"

"Zuko, I'm not preventing you from anything!"

"Liar! You withhold information from me every time I ask for it!" Zuko accused.

Kazen crossed their arms. "I'm _so sorry_ that I've been tasked by the oldest creature in existence to train with the Avatar and reunite two warring Nations! If you capture Aang, I can't continue my airbending training! But you don't need to rely on me after all! You're passing notes with the Gaang anyway, so stop accusing me of something you can do on your own!"

"Ugh, you're _infuriating_!" Zuko shouted.

"You know I'm right!"

He shot them a glare, but Kazen could tell by lightening of his face that he was beginning to let up. Zuko finally relented and turned away.

"I need to get back to work. Go back to the tea shop, Kazen."

"No. If you're trying to catch an airbender, you're going to need all the help you can get."

"Why would I need you?" Zuko questioned harshly.

"Because _I'm_ an airbender, dumbass!" Kazen said impatiently. "If you had one bit of common sense, you would seize the rare opportunity to use the only other airbender in the world, _who happens to be your friend_ , to test your plan."

Zuko's eyes flew wide. He sucked in a breathe like he'd been punched in the gut. Kazen noted his moose-deer-in-the-headlights look with mild concern. What had they said to cause Zuko a mental shutdown? A moment ago, he'd been angry enough to firebend at them, and now, his knees were ready to give out. All they'd done is offer a bit of help to a—

 _Oh. I called him a friend._ Kazen hadn't meant to. The word sort of slipped out of their mouth without warning. They hadn't realized how close they'd grown to the infuriating teenager until their subconscious spelled it out for them. Clearly, Zuko hadn't seen it coming, either, because he was reeling from the word like a physical blow. Kazen frowned at this realization. _When was the last time someone called him a friend?_

"I don't need your help," Zuko finally said, his eyes flashing threateningly. "And I certainly don't need your pity."

"You won't find an ounce of pity for you here," Kazen reminded him. "A person can only make themself miserable."

"Then let me make myself miserable in peace. Go away."

"Yeah, no. I've had enough of this self-pitying crap. Let's get out of here." When Zuko shot them a wary look, they airbended him closer. "I wasn't asking, Charmless."

"I guess I don't have a choice, then," Zuko grumbled.

Kazen pushed Zuko all the way through the sewers and up onto the street. The sights and smells of the Lower Ring hit them once again. Kazen shot Zuko a mischievous smile, then promptly pulled him into every shop that caught their eye. The merchants waved hello, earthbenders gave them a friendly salute, and friendly passerbys bade them good evening. Kazen had never enjoyed torturing Zuko so much. He _hated_ socializing with common people, since they reminded him of his lost royal status, and interacting with them only made him angry. But Kazen kept him under control. They did all the talking. Whenever Zuko glared too long, they kicked him in the shin, and he cooperated with a neutral frown.

Kazen could tell Zuko didn't completely hate the experience. He, like them, enjoyed quietly observing people go about their day. Kazen had spent most of their childhood eavesdropping on their father. Zuko had probably done the same. That's how they knew when he was staring off into space, or simply frowning at the wall, he was somewhat enjoying himself—but he would rather die than admit it. For once, Kazen didn't seize the opportunity to tease him.

"Are you getting hungry?" they eventually asked. The sun had just dipped below the horizon, and the moon was beginning to rise. "There's some commendable late-night eateries around here."

"I don't need to eat," Zuko said, avoiding eye contact.

"I'll take that as a yes, then."

Before Zuko could protest, Kazen was dragging him by the arm into fried rice stand. They politely thanked the vendor and tipped him well. Zuko accepted the bowl of steaming-hot food with what would have been a smile if he wasn't so intent on hating the world. Kazen nudged him with their shoulder.

"You could say thank you. Or something sarcastic. I don't care, as long as it's not dead silence."

"Thank you," Zuko said simply. When Kazen shot them a look, he put his hand up in surrender. "What do you want from me? A declaration of love?"

"Nope, just your annoyance." Kazen ignored his eye roll, instead placing a firm hand on his shoulder. "Come on, the sky is clear for once. I've got the perfect place for us to go."

Kazen picked their way through the streets. They darted into a back alley, located the building they were looking for, and kicked over a stack of boxes near the back door. The crash didn't send anyone running their way. If anything, it blended in with the chaotic ambience of the Lower Ring. Kazen clambered up the boxes and leapt onto the roof. They waved to Zuko from their perch.

"Are you coming or what?" they prompted.

Zuko easily scaled the boxes and landed beside them. Kazen then led Zuko to their final destination: a rooftop courtyard, once belonging to a rich family, now fallen into disrepair. A gazebo stretched over a patch of dirt that had been installed in the middle of the roof. Vines grew wild and stringy across the wooden structure. One-beautiful bushes of colorful flowers lined either side of the gazebo, and in between, soft grass had grown tall in its unmaintained state. The beams that used to crisscross the top of the structure had rotted away, leaving an open sky to stargazers. Kazen presented the place to Zuko with flourish.

"I found it while exploring the other day," they explained. "I figured no one would mind if we came here now and then."

Kazen watched Zuko carefully as he sauntered through the gazebo. His eyes had clouded over, as if he were seeing something far away. Though his face was relaxed, the rest of his body had gone rigid. His movements were jerky. But for once, he didn't look angry, annoyed, or disturbed. Zuko appeared almost at peace. He gently brushed his hands across the fire lilies.

"My mother used to plant these," Zuko whispered.

Kazen almost fell over. "Your—what?"

"There's a courtyard in the center of the palace. Every spring, my mother would plant fire lilies. She wouldn't let the staff touch them. They always bloomed beautifully." Zuko dropped his hand. "I never saw one again after she left."

Kazen was stunned into silence. They stood there for several moments, dumbfounded, unable to form coherent thoughts, let alone words. Zuko hadn't spoken a _word_ about his past since they'd met him. Iroh had been the one to tell them a bit of it, and that had only been this morning. Kazen hadn't expected Zuko to mention it _ever_ , let alone so soon in their friendship.

"I'm...sorry," Kazen managed to say. Another awkward pause followed. They bit their lip, but in the suffocating silence, they couldn't restrain themself from blurting out, "My mother used to plant red tulips."

Zuko's head snapped in their direction, eyebrows elevated. "...Oh?"

Kazen froze. They hadn't talked about their past, either. Zuko was probably just as stunned as they were. Kazen cleared their throat, cheeks flaming.

"Uh—yeah. She didn't exactly...know, what she was doing, but she—uh—always managed to make them return each spring."

"That's...cool."

Silence. Kazen distracted themself from the odd tension of the moment by gazing at the stars. They traced a few constellations with their eyes, but they couldn't concentrate long enough to recall their names. Their mind was racing. _What is going on? Why am I opening up to him? Why is HE opening up to ME?_ Kazen wanted to lay down and shove a pillow over their head. _I can't get too close to him. One day, he's going back to the Fire Nation, and I'll be on the run again. I can't afford to—_

"How can you call me a friend?" Zuko suddenly asked.

Kazen whirled around like they'd been slapped in the face. "I'm sorry, _what_?"

"You called me a friend earlier." Zuko wouldn't meet their gaze. His posture was hesitant, and his jaw tightened. "I...thought you did it by mistake. Did you mean that?"

Kazen paused. Had they meant that? It was a spur-of-the moment thing. Part of them wanted to say no; they'd come into Zuko's life under false pretenses. They kept secrets from him. Heck, they even prevented him from regaining his honor. But a selfish part of Kazen wanted to say yes. Even if Zuko wasn't a friend to them, they were a friend to him. They clearly found him worth their time and patience if they spent hours tailing him around the city at night. They wanted to help him even when he refused to help himself—and they had a feeling he'd need their help more than ever in the weeks to come.

"Kazen, you don't want me as a friend," Zuko said, yanking Kazen from their thoughts. They noticed the dimmed light behind his irises, and the slump to his shoulders. He looked utterly _defeated._ "I steal, I lie, I cheat, and I try to capture a twelve-year-old on a daily basis. I'm a banished prince living in squalor in enemy territory. I have no honor, no talent, and no patience. My uncle knows better than anyone that I'm not worth your time."

"Are you crazy?" Kazen spluttered. "You're so much more than some angry teenage outcast."

"How would you know that? You don't know anything about me!" Zuko exploded.

"You're not the only failed rich kid, Zuko," Kazen said quietly. "I know what it's like to be hurt by the Fire Nation. I know what it's like to grow up being told you're important, then to have the people closest to you turn around and shove you face-first into the mud. I know what it's like to be told to sit still, smile here, be quiet there, stop embarrassing yourself. I know, more than anyone, what it's like to bring dishonor to the family. But that doesn't mean we're bad people."

Zuko had gone a few shades paler by this point. His eyes had flown wide, staring at Kazen like they had seen right through his soul. They might as well have. From what Iroh had told them, Kazen was more similar to Zuko than anyone in the world. The idea probably scared him. Kazen wasn't scared, though. They stepped closer to the prince, until they were inches away, and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Zuko stiffened at their touch.

"There's a good heart to you, Zuko," Kazen breathed, "it just takes a lot of patience to see it."

Zuko practically trembled now. "You're wrong. I'm a failure. The whole world knows it."

"You have to fail before you succeed. At some point in this game called life, you have to take a risk, and you're winning."

Zuko averted his eyes. Kazen waited patiently for their words to sink in. When Zuko composed himself enough to face them, he mumbled, "How can you tell?"

Before Zuko could protest, Kazen threw their arms around him, holding him still in a tight embrace. At first, Zuko tensed, but when he realized they weren't letting go, he hesitantly hugged them back. Kazen held him in their arms until he finally relaxed.

"Because you're my friend," they said, "and I won't let you lose."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0_0 Iroh, Kazen, and Zuko all opening up on the same day? Seems suspicious to me...
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments!


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